


Meiner

by der_tanzer



Series: Meiner [1]
Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-20
Updated: 2010-05-20
Packaged: 2017-10-09 14:55:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Melba Bozinsky gets in over her head, Murray will move mountains to find her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just the Fax

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Catyah](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Catyah).



> The moon man poem was originally published as "Moon Song", by Mildred Plew Meigs. It was recorded by Bonnie Guitar as Only the Moon Man Knows and released as a single in 1958, with Shanty Boat on the B side.
> 
> The line "This never ending road to Calvary" is from the song One Day More, from the musical Les Miserables.

The fishing wasn't that great, but no one minded. There was enough food and beer for days and the weather was beautiful. Nick and Cody were still fishing as the afternoon wore on, but Murray had put his pole aside hours ago in favor of a new magazine. He was dressed uncharacteristically in shorts and no shirt, still determined to somehow get a tan. But Cody had sneakily replaced his tanning oil with sunblock and one of the guys reapplied it every fifteen or twenty minutes.

Nick had taken the last turn, rubbing lotion so thoroughly into Murray's chest and shoulders that the little guy still wasn't quite over it when Cody approached him a quarter of an hour later.

"What now?" he asked, laughing behind his copy of _Science_.

"Your legs are looking a little red. I thought you might need some more lotion."

"I can do it myself."

"But it's not the same." Cody already had the sunscreen in his hands and was rubbing Murray's thighs, killing his protests before they were fairly formed. He had a vague plan to work his way down to the long, shapely feet, massage them for a while, and then fuck the skinny man there on the deck while Nick watched. But before he'd done more than begin, Murray froze, his head cocked in that way his friends knew all too well. Something had grabbed his attention and nothing else would happen until it had been dealt with.

"Um—sorry, Cody, but isn't that the radio?"

"Maybe. So?" The wheelhouse door was open so they could hear it down on the fantail but no one had _really_ heard it in days.

"Just listen. I think it's for us."

Cody gave up on the sunblock and went up to the wheelhouse to check. He turned up the volume, adjusted the squelch and the call came through, loud and clear.

"U.S. Coast Guard calling private yacht _Riptide_."

His heart sinking, Cody picked up the mike.

"Coast Guard, this is the yacht _Riptide_. What can I do for you? Over."

"_Riptide_, do you have Dr. Murray Bozinsky on board? Over."

"Yeah, Coast Guard, that's affirmative on Dr. Bozinsky." Both Nick and Murray were standing in the doorway now, exchanging worried glances. _What is it?_ Nick mouthed silently and Cody shrugged.

"_Riptide_, we don't have a visual on you. Can you give us your coordinates? Over."

Cody hesitated, wondering if it really was the Coast Guard or another elaborate plan to seize America's favorite scientist for some nefarious purpose.

"Murray, you should go below," he said, without thumbing the mike. "Nick, get the pistols and come back."

"You want me to hide?" Murray asked, torn between anger and fear.

"Just until we know for sure. You don't want some whackjob taking shots at you on deck, do you?"

"Oh, all right. But I'm really tired of this, guys."

"I know you are, Boz. Just, go down to our cabin and wait. You won't be far away." He would, in fact, be right under their feet.

"_Riptide_, may we have your coordinates? Over."

"Yeah, sorry, Coast Guard," he came back and reeled off their location. "We are at anchor and awaiting your arrival. Over."

"_Riptide_, maintain your position. ETA is fifteen minutes. Coast Guard out."

"Affirmative, maintaining position. _Riptide_ over and out." He racked the mike and turned to his friends. "Any idea why the U.S. Coast Guard would be looking for you, Murray?"

"I don't know why _anyone_ would be looking for me. Unless Quinlan sent them so he could hang some phony charge on us. Remember those housebreaking sisters? That was as flimsy as the security on the police computers."

"Yeah, could be. Do you have time to hack the CG and see if they're really out here?"

"Maybe," he said doubtfully. "But it's not just a matter of time. I'd need to get on the satellite and it's going to be jammed."

"Then go below and wait. Nick, bring up the guns and we'll see what happens."

Murray wouldn't hide all the way back in the cabin. He stayed on the aft stairs, his pistol in his hands, and watched his friend go up to face the unknown for him. He wondered if Cody would have done the same if the message had been about Nick. Maybe he would have tried, but Nick would have fought it and stayed on deck. That was the difference between them. Murray didn't know how to stand up to his friends.

Nick and Cody tucked their pistols in the waistbands of their shorts and put on shirts to cover them. Cody got out the shark rifle, a weapon he could display freely, and leaned it against the stern rail. After a few minutes a ship that positively dwarfed the Riptide loomed into view and all doubts were erased. It would be impossible to pull off something sneaky with a cruiser that size, and only the military would try. Cody went back to the wheelhouse to take the call he knew was coming.

"Coast Guard calling yacht _Riptide_. We have you in sight. Prepare to receive a launch on your starboard stern. Over."

"Copy launch on the starboard stern. Say, any chance of you telling us what this is about? Over."

"Private communication for Dr. Bozinsky. Launch is away, ETA two minutes. Coast Guard over and out."

_That was terse of them_, Cody thought. What he said was, "Copy launch. _Riptide_ out."

"No idea?" Nick asked as they went down to receive their guest.

"None whatsoever. Get a monkey fist ready."

"A what? Jeez, you should have Murray doing this. He knows all the words."

"That heaving line with the heavy knot on the end. When he gets here, throw it down so he can tie up. And don't forget to cleat it this time."

"Once," Nick muttered as he judged the distance to the water and the size of the approaching motorboat. "One freaking time and he never forgets." He measured out a length of line while Cody got the boarding ladder. The launch buzzed up on them at a startling rate before the engine cut and its inertia brought it to within a few feet of the _Riptide_'s stern. Nick threw out the line and a tall, lanky man, who was ten years younger than he and a better seaman than Nick would ever be, caught it and hauled his boat in close. He belayed the line and sprang neatly from the rear deck to the boarding ladder in a move that even Cody would have had a hard time equaling.

"Ahoy, _Riptide_," he called as he climbed onto the deck. "Lieutenant Kurt Simon, U.S. Coast Guard."

"Welcome aboard, Lieutenant. I'm Cody Allen, Captain of the _Riptide_, and this is Nick Ryder."

"Where's Dr. Bozinsky?"

"He's here. We just wanted to make sure you were legit before we put him in the line of fire."

"Understandable." Simon whipped out his credentials and both men inspected them carefully. The civilities over, Simon turned grave. "I have a message for Dr. Bozinsky and it's very important he get it right away."

"It must be," Cody said, "if you guys came all the way out here to deliver it. Do you want to come in, sit down for a minute?"

"No, sir. We're actually on maneuvers right now and I can't take much time."

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Nick…?"

"I'll get him." He went up the wheelhouse and down through the inside of the boat, trying not to give away too much and knowing that Simon could see everything he needed to anyway. That man was probably born on his own boat and piloting it the next day.

Murray had taken time to put on a t-shirt and was ready when Nick came for him.

"Did he say what—?"

"Not even a clue. But he's for real. I was hoping it might be Baxter trying to offer you a job or something, but it's not."

"Yeah," Murray said slowly. "Bax would send his own massive cruiser."

They went up on deck and Lieutenant Simon introduced himself with military crispness.

"I have a message from the Colorado Cave Exploration Society. It was faxed to the King Harbor PD with instructions to get it to you in person as soon as possible. The police asked us to track you down."

"That must have been difficult," Murray said, taking the envelope in shaking hands. He already knew it would be bad news and wanted to delay reading it as long as he could.

"Not as much as you might think. I'm to wait until you've read the message, in case you need our help."

"Jesus," Nick breathed. "What's it say?"

"It has to be from Melba," Murray said unsteadily. "She's in Colorado, spelunking with the Exploration Society. Some friends of hers talked her into going along. I hope she's not thinking about getting married again."

"Melba's been married?" Cody asked in disbelief.

"No, but she's always getting engaged. It worries Mama to no end."

"I can see how it would."

Murray tore open the envelope and unfolded a single sheet of paper. Cody stepped up behind him to read over his shoulder, but didn't have a chance. Murray wavered, whining low in his throat, and suddenly his knees unhinged. He sat down hard on the deck, barely missing Cody's feet, and teetered on the edge of balance. Cody knelt to support him with an arm around his chest, and took the letter from his hand.

"What the fuck is it?" Nick demanded, trying to hide the quaver in his own voice. Cody scanned the paper swiftly, the color draining from his face until he was almost as pale as Murray.

"This—this can't be right. It says Melba's _dead_. That's not—Murray? Murray, are you okay?"

He was moaning and Cody hugged him hard, giving him a little shake, as if to remind him they weren't alone.

"Baba," Murray said softly. "God, Baba. And Mama. I have to get to Mama."

"Yeah, you do," Cody said. "Nick, get some water. Lieutenant, can you help me get him into that chair over there?"

"Yes, sir."

Cody lifted Murray to his feet and together they walked him to the chair where he'd been reading so happily a few minutes ago. Nick came back with a glass of ice water and coaxed a little bit down Murray's throat. He seemed to come to himself then and was ashamed.

"Thank you for letting me know, Lieutenant," he said quietly. "I don't think there's anything you can do, though. Unless you know where my mother is."

"I believe she's gone to Colorado to wait out the search. I'm sorry I don't have more information. It's only been a couple of days since the accident and I don't think anyone knows much."

"What—why has it been a couple days? Why didn't I hear before…?"

"We found you as quickly as we could, Doctor. I'm sorry."

"There's a phone number here, Boz," Cody said, drawing his attention back to the more important matter. "That must be where your mother is."

"Yes, sir," Simon confirmed. "I expect you'll be heading in as soon as possible?"

"Yeah. Yeah, right now. Nick, you stay here with Murray. I'll go start her up."

"Is there anything else I can do? Do you need help getting underway?"

"No, I can handle it. Thanks, Lieutenant."

"That's what we're here for. I just wish the news had been better."

The lithe young man climbed over the rail, leapt from the ladder to his launch and cast off. Cody took up the line and ladder and went up to the wheelhouse to start the engines. He was glad that he was in charge of the boat, that he had something to think about besides Melba Bozinsky. Nick wasn't so lucky. Cody pitied him, but told himself that, if they'd been in the Mimi, it would be him doing the hard job while Nick flew. In fact, that was probably what they'd be doing tonight.

"Come on, Murray, let's get you in out of the sun." Nick helped him up and walked him around to the salon door as the engines came to life and the anchor motor began to hum. Murray stumbled a little and his friend held him up, leading him to the couch. "Sit down, buddy, and I'll get you some more water."

"Um—can I have an aspirin, too? I've got a terrible—headache."

"Sure thing." Nick went down to the galley to get some ice but the aspirin was harder to find. When he returned, Murray was sitting at the table, his head buried in folded arms. Nick thought he was crying, but he made no noise and the thin shoulders didn't shake. "Hey, Murray, here's your water. You okay?"

"I—I'm trying to be, Nick," he said, raising his head. His eyes were dry and starched looking. "I guess I don't believe it yet. A guy I don't know comes out of nowhere and tells me my sister's dead, how can I believe that?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was a mistake."

"Right. Right, it was some—some other D-Doctor Bozinsky they were looking for. Some _other_ Melba Bozinsky, who happened to be spelunking in Colorado. That's—that's good, Nick. That must be it." He took the glass and swallowed the aspirin in a gulp.

"I'm sorry, Boz. I know that doesn't help but I am. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, thank you. I—I'm gonna go take a shower and wash off this greasy stuff. After that, I don't know. I have to get to Colorado, Nick. I have to see my mom."

"I know. We're gonna get back to King Harbor in an hour or so and we can leave right away. We'll take the _Mimi_ and get there tonight."

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Sure. We'll have to stop for fuel a couple times but that's no problem."

"No, I mean, you'd go? You don't have things to do here?"

"Murray, of course we'll go. You need us and we're gonna be there for you. We love you."

"I—thanks. I love you, too." He finished the water and got up, still dry eyed and a little steadier on his feet. "I'm gonna get that shower now and then I guess I ought to pack."

"Yeah, that'll save time. Look, do you want some company? I don't feel right about leaving you alone."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged and went down to the stern cabin to undress. Carrying his robe, he walked naked into the head and Nick followed. Murray adjusted the water temperature and got into the shower while Nick took off his clothes. He hadn't been specifically invited, but Murray wasn't one to say no when friendly affection was offered. This might have been an exception, Nick would have understood, but when he stepped in and wrapped his arms around Murray from behind, the skinny man leaned readily against him. Nick rubbed a soapy cloth over Murray's neck and shoulders, washing away the sunblock, and then kissed him. First softly, then biting a little, and finally sinking his teeth in as Murray groaned. Nick pushed him gently against the wall, reaching around to touch his already stiffening cock. Murray groaned again, pressing back into the hard, comforting body, already beginning to respond. The little guy really was a sucker for any kind of affection. Nick had known that ever since finding out that he was still a virgin at the age of twenty four, and over the years he and Cody had both taken advantage of the fact. But Murray didn't mind. They loved him deeply, and always made sure he knew it.

Nick played with him for a long time, making him want it, and then pinned him against the wall. Murray grunted softly as Nick entered him, slow and easy. The hand on his cock was firm and gentle, teasing him out of his dark sorrow, scattering his thoughts in prisms of light.

"H-Harder," he moaned. "Harder, Nick. Please, oh please, harder."

Nick began the gentle squeeze and release that Murray preferred to lengthy strokes and at the same time thrust harder, deeper, contrasting tenderness with the next thing to brutality. Murray set his feet and pushed back, crying out softly. Nick's other hand slipped between Murray's thighs, cupping his balls and massaging them gently. Murray braced his elbows on the wall and bowed his head, welcoming Nick's teeth on the back of his neck. The bigger body was heavy upon him and Murray's arms trembled as he held them both up, pleasure uncoiling in his belly. Nick was stroking him now with one hand, rubbing the ball of his thumb over the most sensitive spot under the crown of his cock, all the while thrusting a hard, fast rhythm that the skinny man strove to match.

"That's good, Nick," he groaned softly. "So good, so good, don't stop…"

"That's right, sweetheart. Come for me, Murray," Nick panted against the back of his neck.

"Just—harder—oh _thatssogood, thatssogood_," he breathed, babbling as the pressure built inside him. "_Ohhh, sogood. Thatssogood, sogood, soo…_" He came hard, banging his forehead on the shower wall and trying to stifle a scream. Nick rode him through it, already coming himself, biting the thin shoulder fiercely, a shout lodged deep in his throat.

Murray's knees felt weak and he depended on the wall to hold him up as Nick withdrew.

"Are you okay?" Nick whispered, kissing him softly now.

"Yeah. Yeah, that really—took my mind off things. Thanks."

"No problem." Nick soaped the cloth again and resumed washing him, over mild protests. "Let me have my fun, Boz."

"I—uh—thought you just did."

"Well, I'm not finished. This is an important part of my fun."

"And you guys call me weird," he sighed, submitting meekly. Some day he was going to learn to stand up to them.

***  
After their shower, Murray went back to work, packing his clothes and trying not to think. He was glad they were taking Mimi. She didn't limit them to two checked bags and a carry on, and there would be privacy. He was fighting hard to control his emotions but it couldn't last forever. When he finally broke, he didn't want to be on an airplane full of people. He wished Melba was on the coast somewhere so they wouldn't have to leave the boat. But she wasn't. Melba wasn't really anywhere anymore.

"No," he whispered. Nick appeared, as if summoned from a lamp, and asked what he'd said. "Nothing. I didn't say anything. What are you doing?"

"Just getting some stuff from the head. You don't want to go see your mom without a razor and a toothbrush, do you?"

"No, Mom's pretty strict," Murray smiled. Then his face clouded. "It just can't be real, Nick. I keep thinking that if they haven't found her—maybe—maybe she's still alive. She could be waiting for me. And, if she were really dead, wouldn't I know it? I'd have felt it somehow, I just know I would."

"Murray…"

"No, don't. Don't argue with me, Nick, please. I just have to get there and see for myself."

"Yeah, okay." Nick hugged him gently, kissed him on the neck and went back to packing. Everyone dealt with these things in their own way.

By the time they reached the pier everything was ready, and Murray was trying to distract himself with the manuscript of a manual he was writing. It wasn't going very well. As soon as the engines dropped into a lower gear, he started dragging things up onto the deck and Nick went to help him.

"It'll be a few minutes yet," he said quietly. "If you wait, Cody'll come help us."

"It's okay. I want to be doing something." Murray stopped and put his hands on the rail. "Nick, I really appreciate you guys going with me. I know it's not cheap and I'll pay for the fuel."

"It's okay. I want to go, I really do."

Suddenly Murray understood and hung his head, hiding a shy smile.

"You guys don't think I can handle it," he said, laughing at himself. "I'm a grown up, Nick, I can take care of my family."

"I know you can. But we want to take care of you. Like you did for me when my cousin Tony died. Remember how much I needed you then?"

"Yeah, but I have my mom. Anyway, I love you and I'm glad you're going. Even if, between you and my mom, I'm going to be treated like a child the whole time."

"Well, not the whole time. We'll still fuck you like a man anytime you're up for it."

Murray's laugh was more sincere this time. He straightened up and they went back inside for the rest of the things.

***

"How long a trip are we talking about here?" Cody asked as they climbed into the helicopter. It was seven o'clock and dark was only an hour away. To Cody the only thing worse than flying in the _Mimi_ was flying in the _Mimi_ after dark.

"About seven hours in the air. We have to make three stops for fuel, even with _Mimi_'s modified capacity, so call it ten hours, total. We'll get there around five."

"Can you really fly all night?" Murray asked worriedly. "Won't you get tired?"

"I'll be okay."

"But if you're not, we can lay over somewhere, right? I mean I—I don't want you to—to take any chances."

"Sure, Boz, but it'll be okay. I didn't get up until noon today anyway. Cody, are you navigating?"

"You bet. Murray, you okay back here?"

"Yeah. I'm just going to read for a while. I have that new rechargeable book light."

"They've started producing those?"

"Hit the stores last week. I'm supposed to get paid any day now."

"Hey, good job," Nick said, squeezing his shoulder on the way up to the cockpit.

"Yeah, that's great," Cody added with a slap on the back. Murray was pleased, but when he was alone, he thought about it and shook his head. They had no idea what he'd done. The work that went into the design, building the flexible neck and lightweight battery pack, getting a patent, selling the idea and pushing it through production, all done late at night after his real work was finished. Often that meant sneaking out of bed while the guys were sleeping and working virtually around the clock. It was a feat of engineering that was going to pay the bills for at least the rest of the summer, but all they saw was a way for geeks to read in the dark. Hardly anything to get excited about.

Murray read for almost an hour, half listening to Nick and Cody bickering on the com. They sounded like they were on vacation but his thoughts kept going back to his sister. He laid the book aside and took off his headset, cutting off their voices. Melba. What if she really was dead? What if she was lost in the cave, injured and alone? Which was better? Murray didn't know what to hope for. He wanted to find her alive somehow but if he couldn't, he didn't want her to be alive now, suffering in the dark. And she must be. If she weren't hurt, she would have gotten out.

He'd called the Colorado phone number before they left King Harbor and talked to a rescue coordinator. His mother, Marta, was resting under sedation at the moment, and he filed that away for consideration at a later time. Right now he needed his whole brain to consider the possibility of his sister trapped, possibly in water, at the bottom of a cave. He thought about how water levels could change rapidly underground, how it could be like being buried in sand and watching the tide rise. Gradually his long body curled in on itself and he slid out of his seat onto the floor. The harsh vibration of _Mimi_'s rotors, so different from the soothing waves under the _Riptide_, seemed to tear the heart out of him, and Murray wrapped his arms around his head and wept.


	2. Only the Moon Man Knows

They were coming in for their first refueling at a small desert airfield, a little after nine o'clock, when Nick tried to raise Murray on the intercom.

"What's going on?" he muttered when he got no answer.

"Maybe he's asleep," Cody shrugged. "I'll go check."

"Yeah, do that. I can see the landing lights already, so grab a seat back there and buckle up."

But when Cody dropped into the bay, he found Murray still curled on the floor, still shivering, trying to muffle his sobs.

"Hey, Boz," he said awkwardly, cursing himself for not expecting this. He grabbed up the headset and put it on.

"Nick, after you set her down, you better come back here."

"He okay?"

"Not exactly." He lowered his voice and turned away from the trembling man. "I don't want to expose him like this. Help me get him together before anyone sees him."

"Yeah, copy that," Nick said mechanically. He wondered how bad it was. Behind him, Cody was choosing the dangerous route of helping Murray instead of securing himself for landing. After all, it was his turn to do the hard job. He sat down on the floor and eased Murray's head into his lap, gently peeling away the protective arms.

"It's gonna be okay, Boz," he whispered low, under the thump of the rotors. "I promise, it's gonna be okay."

Murray turned over and pressed his face into the hard stomach, wrapping his arms around Cody's waist. Cody's hands were on his back, stroking his shoulders and teasing his hair, soothing some of the tension from Murray's body even as he struggled not to cry himself. They listened to the motors drop, the rotors slowing, and Cody held him tight as Mimi touched down. For her, it was a smooth landing and Murray hardly felt it.

"There's a fuel truck on the way," Nick said, climbing down into the cargo bay. "What's going on?"

"He's freaking out a little," Cody said quietly.

"That right, Murray?" Nick asked, kneeling beside them. Slowly, the thin man turned and sat up, pulling regretfully away from Cody like moss peeling off brick.

"I—I'm better now. It all kind of started to get to me, I guess."

"Yeah, sitting back here all alone in the dark," Cody said, squeezing his hand gently. "I'm sorry we did that."

"No, I wanted to be alone. I'm okay, guys, really."

"Are you sure? You want to get out and walk around a little? There's a restroom in the hangar, and some vending machines."

"You've been here before?" Murray asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah," he said shortly. "Come on. The air will do you good."

"Is it cold?"

"I've got your sweater," Cody said, nudging him subtly toward the door. Murray nodded, almost unseen in the dark, and got to his feet. Nick opened the door and he and Cody jumped out, then turned to offer their hands. Murray took them and landed almost gracefully between his friends. They held his hands for a second longer than necessary before releasing him in the headlights of the oncoming fuel truck. Murray shielded his eyes and hung back as the truck came to a halt and a middle aged man in biballs climbed down.

"You boys is out awful late," he commented, lighting a cigarette. "I was halfway home when they called me back."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Nick said perfunctorily. "Is the hangar open?"

"'Til you take off. You boys must be from the city. Out here we go to bed at night."

"Yes sir." The words were right and the tone almost respectful, but Nick's voice was tight and almost jocular, both bad signs. _I'd offer you some fruit and nuts…_ Then Nick was speaking again. "You guys go on, I'll be right there. Cody, see to it Murray eats something. I don't care if it's Fig Newtons, just so long as it's food."

"Aye, Captain," Cody said snappily and led Murray away, stumbling over uneven ground.

"So what are you boys doing in the desert in the middle of the night?" the fuel man asked, stubbing out his cigarette.

"It's nine o'clock," Nick said in disbelief. "High school dances aren't over at nine."

"That where you're going? You and your dates, there?"

"What's your problem, man? My friend's sister died and I'm just trying to get him to his mother. You find something funny about that, I don't think I want to hear it."

"You're funny, a'right," he said and went back to his truck. Nick was worried for a moment, wishing he hadn't sent Cody away so fast. Then the engine roared to life and the truck edged up to _Mimi_'s flank. Nick didn't think he wanted to take his eyes off this guy, but at least he'd get his fuel.

"Where's his mama at?" the fat man asked, climbing up to open the hatch.

"Macon, Colorado."

"Long way. I wouldn't go up there now, with all the trouble they're having."

"What trouble's that?"

"Some fool woman disappeared day before yesterday. They been saying she was dead but now they ain't so sure."

"Wait, what's that? What woman?"

"Some Polack from one of the universities. Got no business fooling around in those mines."

"Polack?" Nick's heart leapt into his throat and he struggled to swallow it down. "Do you know her name?"

"Naw, like I said, just some Polack. They all sound the same."

"Was it Bozinsky?" he pressed, resisting the urge to slap the big man down off his helicopter. He hated this guy, hated even letting him touch Mimi, but they needed him if they wanted to get off the ground again.

"Yeah, something like that. Some dizzy broad who thinks she's a miner."

"Wait a minute, _miner_? What—No, never mind. It doesn't matter." He didn't want to talk about Melba with this man. The answers were in Colorado and the faster they got there, the faster they'd learn the truth.

"All I know's, that town's a three ring circus right now. Better if you get mama to meet you somewhere else."

"Yeah, I'll take that under advisement. Do you know if Warner Field's still open?"

"Is now, but you won't make it. They shut down at ten."

"That's okay," he said, not bothering to explain that Odell Warner was a friend. The other man shrugged and went on running in the fuel. The sharp smell of refined kerosene cut the night air, reaming Nick's nostrils as he breathed deep. It was a home smell to him, as wood and salt water were to Cody, ever welcome. He hung around until it was finished, then took the receipt and went through his checklist. Cap on, hatch closed, check the glass for water in the fuel. Always check the glass, no matter who's selling you the fuel or how carefully you check the truck, and tonight he hadn't checked the truck at all. But the glass was good and Nick went to the hangar with a minor feeling of optimism.

Cody and Murray were sitting in folding chairs around a small table, drinking thin coffee from Styrofoam cups, a half-eaten Snickers bar by Murray's hand. Nick gave them a smile on his way into the office, where he paid for the fuel. He called ahead to Warner Field to let them know he was coming and they agreed to wait, even calling on to Hanover Field, the next stop in the line, to pass the word. Nick was well known to them, and knowing it was for Murray made people even more willing to help.

But he said nothing about that when he returned with his own cup of pseudo-coffee. It was weak and bitter, not likely to keep even Murray awake. But it was better than nothing and he sipped it slowly, debating whether or not to tell them what the fat man in the biballs had said. He wanted to erase some of that dead look from Murray's eyes, but at the same time, he didn't want to get his hopes up too high.

"What's going on?" Cody asked, reading the conflict in his eyes. "That guy give you a hard time?"

"Well, he seems to think it's the middle of the night. I guess the cows go to bed early out here."

"Are there cows in this part of the desert?" Murray asked, vaguely interested. "I'd think they'd need more water than is readily—"

"No, Murray, it's just an expression. He did say that it's a mess up in Macon. Apparently Melba's disappearance is big news."

"She was—she is very popular. People all over the world are going to want to know what happened to her," Murray said quietly.

"Yeah, that's the idea I got. But there's something else, Boz. He said that—well, that people are saying she might be alive. He didn't have any evidence of that, he didn't give me anything but a suspicion, and I don't want you getting your hopes too high, but it's possible. I mean, even if he is just an airfield mechanic in the middle of nowhere, repeating gossip."

"But it's a chance," Murray said, his eyes beginning to shine. "How soon can we get there?"

"No sooner than I told you before. But we can get going now, if you're ready."

"Yes, of course I'm ready. Let's go, time's wasting." He got up and threw away his coffee, already halfway out the door before his friends were out of their seats.

"Was it a good idea, telling him that?" Cody whispered as they followed him out.

"I don't know. I had to give him something. Could you look at those eyes for the next six, seven hours?"

"No, I guess not. And I'll have to, won't I?"

"Unless you can get him to sleep. I don't want him sitting back there freaking out all night."

"Yeah, I get it. I'll take care of him."

"There are all kinds of ways to do that, you know."

"I was just thinking the same thing," Cody laughed, resisting the urge to put his arm around his friend. He wasn't sure what the penalty for that might be out here in the sticks, but it was probably severe. Murray was waiting impatiently by the chopper, pacing and humming a song they didn't know. Nick climbed into the cockpit while Cody helped Murray into the bay and slammed the door. Murray kept pacing, humming that song, while Nick did his preflight. Out of habit, Cody checked the glass. He wasn't really worried about the fuel, just killing time until Murray started talking. Except Murray didn't. He should have been babbling a mile a minute about finding Melba, but he wasn't. All he did was pace and hum, until Cody told him to put on the headset. He did, but still refused to sit down. From the port windows, Murray could see the endless expanse of desert without so much a pinpoint of light to dim the stars. When the Mimi started shaking, rotors thumping overhead, he braced his hands on either side of the window and stood there until the ground dropped away.

"Why don't you come sit over here?" Cody asked invitingly. "You're wound up way too tight."

Murray turned and smiled, his eyes shining wetly behind his glasses, but didn't stop humming.

"What's that song, Boz? I keep thinking I ought to know it but I don't." It was making Cody nervous, the smiling and humming, when he knew Murray's guts must be tied in knots. He thought that this might be what people saw in the last few minutes before someone took an ax and went on a rampage. In fact, he'd once seen something very like this in Vietnam. If Murray came at him, Cody thought he stood a good chance of pinning the smaller man without hurting him. But he knew that crazy often beat big, and it would be difficult as well as dangerous to fight him in such a close space. Better to defuse it while there was still time.

"Murray, angel, come over here and tell me about the song," he said gently.

Murray turned away from the window, smiling as though it hurt him. Cody, sitting just a couple of feet away, saw the tracks of tears on his cheeks, shining silver in the moonlight. Very quietly, almost inaudibly, Murray began to sing. His voice was pitched low and smooth, as one would sing to a child.

"_Zoon, zoon, cuddle and croon  
Over the crinkling sea,  
The moon man casts with a silvery net  
Fashioned from moonbeams three._

_"And some folk say when the net lies long  
And the midnight hour is ripe;  
The moon man fishes for some old song  
That fell from a sailor's pipe. _

"Do you know it, Cody?" he asked as he sat down.

"No, Murray, I don't. I'm sorry. Is it a lullaby?"

"Sort of. It's a poem but different people set it to music, including my mom. She's the musical one, you know, and she used to sing it to us. To Baba and me, when we were little. It was our favorite song. I found out later that she changed the words some to fit her music better, like saying 'casts with a silvery net' rather than 'flings him a silvered net', things like that. But I like her way. It's stupid, I know, but I sing it to myself when I'm sad or—or missing my family."

"No, Murray, that's not stupid." The words were simple but somehow right, and Murray seemed to melt against his shoulder. Suddenly Cody remembered this afternoon, rubbing lotion on the thin body, on the boat, out at the sea. How he'd meant to take him on the deck while Nick watched. It seemed like years ago now. "Why don't you sing me the rest of the song? You have a nice voice."

"I do?"

"Well, nicer than I thought." But was that true? He'd heard Murray below decks a few times, singing to himself as he went about his work, probably this same song. It had been a sweetly engaging sound, but Murray was shy and always stopped as soon as he heard anyone approach. "Sing it for me, please. I want to hear the rest."

Murray took off his headset and cleared his throat. Cody could feel him blushing against his shoulder and the heat of embarrassment was making him a little warm, too. He put his arm around Murray, still encouraging him to sing. After a little more squirming and throat clearing he did, so low and soft it made Cody's heart ache.

"_And some folk say that he fishes the bars  
Down where the dead ships lie,  
Looking for lost little baby stars  
That fell from the slippery sky._

_"And the waves roll out and the waves roll in  
And the nodding night winds blow,  
But why the moon man fishes the sea  
Only the moon man knows._

_"Zoon, zoon, net of the moon  
Rides on the wrinkling sea;  
Bright is the fret and shining wet,  
Fashioned from moonbeams three._

_"And some folk say when the great net gleams  
And the waves are dusky blue,  
The moon man fishes for two little dreams  
He lost when the world was new._

_"And some folk say in the late night hours,  
While the long fin-shadows slide,  
The moon man fishes for cold sea flowers  
Under the tumbling tide._

_"And the waves roll out and the waves roll in  
And the gray gulls dip and doze,  
But why the moon man fishes the sea  
Only the moon man knows._

_"Zoon, zoon, cuddle and croon  
Over the crinkling sea,  
The moon man casts with a silvery net  
Fashioned from moonbeams three._

_"And some folk say that he follows the flecks  
Down where the last light flows,  
Fishing for two round gold-rimmed specs  
That blew from his button-like nose._

_"And some folk say while the salt sea foams  
And the silver net lines snare,  
The moon man fishes for silver combs  
That fell from the mermaids' hair._

_"And the waves roll out and the waves roll in  
And the nodding night winds blow,  
But why the moon man fishes the sea  
Only the moon man knows. _"

"Gee, Boz, that's beautiful," he said, struggling to keep his voice steady. "It's really—really beautiful."

"Well, it's a nice song. I don't sing it very well. Mama—she would play it on the guitar for us and—Baba was a better singer. _Is_ a better singer." His voice cracked and Cody, overcome by emotion that he didn't want to show, kissed him roughly. He half expected Murray to push him away, although that had never happened before. He didn't expect Murray to kiss him back, biting his lips and mewling like a kitten as they tumbled to the floor. The skinny man landed on top, and Cody struggled with his clothes as the kiss went on. He pulled off his own headset but didn't unplug it and Nick could hear over the com what they were doing. Cody meant him to, as payback for nailing Murray in the shower when he knew that Cody had intended to have him first. It was a sort of competition between them, and Murray never objected because he always won.

Cody got Murray's sweater and shirt off, then threw him down on his back and went to work on him in earnest, stripping his slight body and raising bruises down his chest. Through it all, Murray mewled and keened, his long fingers clutching whatever Cody put in his reach, silver tears running down his temples and disappearing in his shaggy hair.

"Don't cry, angel," Cody whispered as he shed his own clothes and leaned down to kiss him again. "Don't cry and I'll give you something you want."

Murray blinked hard and tried to smile. He knew what that meant and he wanted it badly. Cody sat back and petted him for a long time, tickling just enough to jolt him out of his tears, and then teasing him into a passion. He knew all of the magic spots by now. The one that tickled under Murray's arm, the one behind his ear that made him purr and the one inside his thigh that made him melt. Cody's sensitive, skillful hands drove him crazy without ever touching his straining cock. Murray tried to force it, tried to move so that Cody would have no choice, and the teasing hands withdrew.

"No, don't stop," he moaned, igniting the same fire in Nick's belly that he did in Cody's. It was too easy to picture the fragile body, prostrate and helpless, just waiting to be fucked. Nick wanted very badly to land and go see what they were doing, and then the sounds started again.

Cody spread the skinny legs and lay down on top of him, pressing their hard cocks together, and kissed him tenderly. This was what Murray liked best, to be loved slowly, face to face, looking into the eyes of the man who loved him.

Murray braced his feet and arched against him, both hands buried in soft blond hair. Cody slipped one hand between them, down Murray's concave stomach, and cradled their cocks in his palm, pressing them firmly to his own belly. Murray cried out softly, biting Cody's neck, thrusting up into the hand that squeezed and stroked so perfectly. His teeth were sharp but cautious, nipping at first, then biting harder to stifle his groans of pleasure.

"Don't," Cody whispered, catching a handful of dark hair and pulling his head back roughly. "Make all the noise you want, Murray. There's no one to hear you but us." He held onto the hair, not letting Murray get his teeth into him again, and was rewarded by louder groans and the beginnings of the soft babble that meant he was close to coming. Cody loved that sound almost beyond reason and rubbed the slick cock harder against himself. Still holding Murray's head back, he kissed the vulnerably extended neck, raising great bruises across his collarbones and shoulders.

"Cody," he gasped, eager and breathless. "Cody, please, look at me, please. I'm gonna, oh I'm gonna come, please, _please look at me, pleasepleaseplease…_"

Cody relaxed his grip on the shaggy hair, cradling Murray's head in his hand. Their eyes met and Murray came hard, screaming his name. Cody kissed him, plundering the soft mouth as he thrust into his own slick hand, still feeling the fading pulse of Murray's orgasm. The Mimi dipped unexpectedly and Cody imagined Nick alone in the cockpit, distracted by the sounds. That was the last straw and he came, groaning desperately, Murray's long fingers digging into his hips like spurs.

Gradually Murray relaxed, letting his hands fall away, gasping for breath under the weight of Cody's body. He was crushingly heavy, but for the first time Cody didn't seem to remember that. His head was bowed against Murray's shoulder, his panting breath warm on rapidly chilling skin. Suddenly, Murray realized how tired his friends must be. More tired even than he, in spite of his strain, because he only worried and they worked as well. Very gently, he pushed Cody away and the bigger man collapsed beside him. Murray got a towel and cleaned them both off, smiling his first real smile of the day as he hushed Cody's sleepy protests. He covered Cody with a sleeping bag, folded his own sweater into a pillow for him, and only then dressed himself.

"You going somewhere, Boz?"

"I'm not really sleepy yet. I'm going to go up and keep Nick awake, if I can. Try not to bore him to death."

"Well, whatever else you do, don't sing him that song. He'll either fall asleep or pounce you, and I don't want to crash."

"Right, no singing. I love you, Cody."

"Love you, too," Cody mumbled, already drifting off. Murray kissed his cheek and slipped away.

Nick half turned to him as he climbed up into the cockpit and started to tease him about taking off their headsets in flight. Then he saw Murray and stopped short.

"I thought it was Cody. He's supposed to be getting you to rest. What are you doing up here?"

"He fell asleep. I'm still kind of wired, though."

"Must be the coffee," Nick said ironically.

"Yeah, I guess. You mind if I take his seat?"

"It's not just his, Murray. You can have it any time you want."

"No, I can't. But thanks." He sat down and put on the headset.

"Murray, you have to stop thinking of yourself as a third wheel. You can do anything Cody can do."

"Sure I can. That's why you told him to stay in the back with me, instead of telling me to sit up here. I'm not alone either way, but back there, I'm still in my place."

"Do you really feel like that?" Nick asked, stung.

Murray bowed his head with a tired sigh.

"No. No, I don't, Nick. I'm sorry. It's just been a really shitty day, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I don't remember if I've told you yet how sorry I am about all this."

"You don't have to. I know you love Baba. And if she's alive you'll help me find her, won't you?"

"You bet. Whatever it takes, we'll be right there with you. She's family."

"Thanks. I love you guys so much. She knows that, too. She was so happy for me when I told her…"

Nick could imagine that. Melba had confessed to him once that she was worried about Murray. Worried that no one would ever really appreciate him, that he would go through life alone, getting his heart broken by one user after another. Nick had promised to look after him, knowing it wasn't his place to tell her the truth. But he could see that Murray had told her not long after. She kept flirting with Nick and Cody, but she also called them both big brother and winked at them somewhat more often that she used to. Nothing was ever said flat out, but they could tell that she knew and she was glad. Suddenly he felt tears sting his eyes and blinked them back frantically. When he looked over at Murray, he saw the thin face gone soft and vulnerable with wounded love.

"It's going to be okay," he said uselessly. Murray nodded without really hearing. They were flying low, not much above the three hundred feet Nick would need to handle an emergency, and the few lights on the ground were easy to spot. There were few cars on the few roads between the few towns. Murray could count the houses dotted here and there in the vast expanse, but after six he got the idea and quit.

"I wish I could fly," he said suddenly. "I hate not being able to do anything."

"You can do lots of things," Nick said, falling into the pattern of what he thought the conversation was going to be.

"Not right now. I want to be able to do something right now that might help Baba. You're getting us closer to her, but I'm not doing anything."

"You will when we get there. You'll be the only one she wants."

"I guess. And maybe there'll be more news. Maybe she'll be found by the time we get there."

"Maybe," Nick said, although he didn't believe it. In his experience, these things slowed down a lot after dark. "Are you sure you can't get some sleep?"

"If you want me to leave, just say so."

"No, I don't want you to leave, Murray, I enjoy your company,. But it's going to be a long day tomorrow and you haven't slept in—how long's it been?"

"About thirty six hours. It's okay, I've got at least another thirty before it starts to be a problem. And if I sleep, I dream. You know that."

"Yeah." If Murray started dreaming in the state he was in now, Nick wouldn't have to worry about staying awake. Neither would Cody, or the people in their homes on the ground. Murray's nightmares could steal sleep from the dead. "I just don't want to see you get all strung out and fall apart. That's pretty bad, too."

"I don't know what else to do, Nick. Right now I'm just winging it. Kind of like you, huh?"

"Yeah," he said again. Murray's geeky sense of humor used to bother him but he thought he must be used to it now. Maybe that's what love did for people. "Why don't you just close your eyes for a few minutes and see what happens? You always say it's as good as sleep."

"_Almost_ as good," Murray corrected. "It's like charging a battery while the unit is in use, as opposed to shutting it down to charge. Although I've heard there's some real progress being made in the area of batteries that charge just as efficiently during use. It's going to revolutionize portable computers, once they get the batteries to stop exploding."

"I imagine that's the hard part," Nick said, accidentally implying interest.

"Oh, yes, but there's this new concept in—wait, you don't care about batteries, do you?"

"Not really, Murray. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Batteries are probably boring."

_Probably_? Nick thought, shaking his head in the shadows.

"I heard you singing on the com before," he said, changing the subject. "It was nice, but I couldn't make out the words. How come you never sing to me like that?"

"You never asked. I have a terrible voice anyway."

"Not tonight. I thought you sounded good."

"Doesn't matter. Cody told me I couldn't sing you that song anyway."

"Why? Is he keeping the good stuff for himself again? He gets the song and I get to talk about batteries?"

"He said if I sang it, you'd either pounce me or go to sleep. And since you're kind of busy at the moment…"

"That good, huh? Just give me one verse, then. I'm sure that won't be enough to put me to sleep and I already got laid today."

"Just once," Murray said mildly. But he was a sucker for approval and wanted to please Nick. He'd already pleased Cody, who didn't have to know.

"_Zoon, zoon, cuddle and croon,   
over the crinkling sea,  
the moon man casts with a silvery net…_"

"_Fashioned from moonbeams three_," Nick whispered. "That's the song that made him fuck you in my helicopter?"

"Well, yes. I thought it was a little strange, too. I guess I'm irresistible when I'm being childish."

"Actually, you kind of are. But sing the song anyway. I promise to control myself."

Murray started again and Nick joined in. He had a better voice but he'd only ever heard the song on records so he didn't know as many verses. A couple of times he dropped out, letting Murray fill in the blanks, and during those times he could see why it had such a strong effect on Cody. The low, soft voice, coupled with the haunting tune, made him want to comfort Murray, and then hurt him just a little so he could comfort him again. But it wasn't good to think like that while flying. Especially at night.

"That's really sweet," he said when Murray finished. "Do you know any others?"

"I know a lot of songs, but you don't really want to hear me sing, do you?"

"I don't mind. But if you want to talk, that's good, too. It helps keep me awake."

"Really? It keeps you awake when _I_ talk?"

"Well, if I get to talk sometimes, too. How's your seamanship coming? Do you know how to abaft the belay on the forward stern?"

"I know enough to know that doesn't make any sense. You should really read _The Chapman_, Nick. It's very interesting."

"So save me the suspense and tell me what's wrong with what I just said."

"Well, abaft is an adjective, not a verb, and it means behind. Belay is a verb, not a noun, and it means to secure a line without tying a knot. Like when you wrapped the line around the cleat for the Coast Guard guy. And I don't even know where to start with forward stern. That was a joke, right?"

"Sure, of course it was. But—there _is_ a forward part of the stern, right?"

"Maybe," he said doubtfully. "If you want to get really picky. I mean, anything in front of where you are is forward, just like anything behind you is abaft."

"If abaft is behind, then what's aft?"

"Oh, that's behind, too. Sort of. See, if you're walking toward the front of the boat, the bow, you're going forward, or going to the fore. If you're walking toward the back, you're going aft. If you're standing still, you're _facing_ fore or aft, unless you're facing the side. That's the beam. When you're facing the stern, you're facing aft, but the bow, which is foreword, is abaft of you."

"I think I was wrong about this keeping me awake."

Murray laughed, not at all offended. He'd known it was boring when he started. After a brief silence, he changed the subject and tried again.

"When Baba was really young, maybe three years old, she couldn't understand all the words to the moon song. She thought the line was _the naughty night winds blow_, not _nodding_. So she asked me one time, I was probably all of five, why the wind was naughty. She wanted to know what it did wrong. I told her that it stayed up too late, that it was blowing at night when it was supposed to be in bed. So, by definition, all night winds were naughty. And she believed me. She drove our parents crazy for a couple years, always asking why the wind misbehaved, why it never went to bed when the sun did. They didn't understand and I never told them. I don't think it ever occurred to her to question either my knowledge or honesty."

"She didn't explain why she was asking?"

"Nope. I said it so it must be true. And kids always think that everyone knows what they know. It's a pattern of brain development. Humans have to be taught to share information verbally. Anyway, when she was about five, she found the book with the poem and discovered the truth. To this day I don't know if she's forgiven me." He chuckled softly and it turned into a sob.

"Murray, Melba loves you. I can't imagine her holding a grudge for nearly thirty years."

"I hope not. You never think about that when you're talking to someone. That you might never talk to them again. I mean, you can't think about it all the time or you'd go crazy. But I keep trying to remember what the last thing I said to her was, and I can't."

"I've heard you on the phone with her before. The last thing you always say is _I love you_. You probably said that."

"Yeah," he said, taking a deep breath. "I think I did. But what else? What did we even talk about?"

"It doesn't matter. Listen, if she's thinking about you now, she isn't thinking about your last phone call or a trick you played on her when she was three. She's thinking how smart and determined you are, and knowing you're coming for her."

"I hope so. I hope I'm coming for her, and not just cleaning up a mess."

Nick didn't know what to say to that. He cleared his throat a couple of times and started to sing again.

"I don't know that one," Murray said, trying to smile.

"It's called _Shanty Boat_. My mom had the moon man song on a forty-five and _Shanty Boat_ was the flip side."

"Oh. It's nice."

So Nick sang the song, something about shanty boats calling him home, while Murray stared out the window, wide awake and trying not to cry.


	3. Od 'n' Annie

When they were ten minutes out of Warner Field, Murray went back and woke Cody so he could dress. Cody had been having a pleasant dream and was in a reasonably good mood, for which he felt slightly guilty.

"Did you get any sleep, Boz?"

"No, I've been listening to Nick talk about engines for the last hour. Some of it was very interesting."

"You have to rest sometime, you know," Cody said, pulling on his jeans.

"I will after I see Mama and talk to the rescue coordinators. Until then I can hardly close my eyes."

"Yeah, well, be careful. We need you, you know."

"I know. I'm okay." He picked up his sweater and put it on, expecting it to be cold on the ground. Desert nights were miserable for skinny people.

"Come up top with me," Cody said, surprising him one more time in this long day of surprises.

"Why?" Murray asked, already following.

"Because I said. Come on, it's okay."

Nick didn't need an explanation when he saw Cody coaxing Murray into the left seat. Murray looked like he did, but he put on the harness and headset without having to be told. Cody knelt between them, his hands on their thighs to keep his balance, and smiled up at Nick. Both were wondering how long it would be before they had some time alone, and if feeling that way was unforgivably selfish, considering the circumstances. Cody's hands tightened and Murray covered the one on his leg with his own. Nick would have done the same if he could. For a moment the three of them were bonded in perfect understanding, although Nick and Cody perhaps would have been surprised to know how deep Murray's understanding ran. And then the _Mimi_ was touching down and they had to be normal again. Cody slid back into the bay and gave Murray a hand climbing down.

"Cody, I'm…"

"Don't. Don't ever apologize for any of this. I don't ever want to hear it."

Murray smiled and ducked his head shyly. "Can I still thank you?"

"If you absolutely have to. But you know I like to be thanked in blowjobs, right?"

"I know." He was still shy, still blushing, but he lifted his eyebrows in a way that might have gotten him pounced again if they hadn't been on the ground. Murray felt a little guilty, flirting and screwing when he should be worrying about his sister, but he couldn't help it. Without something else to think about, some release for his nervous energy, he'd have gone to pieces hours ago. But Melba knew him, and he thought she'd understand.

Then Cody was sliding the door open and jumping out, turning automatically to give Murray his hand. Nick came down the side and joined them, watching another fuel truck approach, blinded by another set of headlights. It was already monotonous.

"That you, Ryder?"

"Od? What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"

"What are you?" This man wasn't wearing biballs and he wasn't fat. He was in his early fifties, tall and lean with dark stubble and a shock of unkempt hair. Cody thought for a second that this was what Murray would look like in a few years, and then Nick was introducing them.

"Od, these are my friends, Lieutenant Cody Allen and Colonel Murray Bozinsky. Guys, this is Captain Odell Warner, the best damn pilot to ever serve our country."

"Well, since the advent of helicopters, at least. What's a colonel doing hanging around with these losers?" he joked, shaking their hands.

"That was a long time ago," Murray said shyly. "These days I'm more a loser than I am a colonel."

"That's not what I've heard. You're _the_ Murray Bozinsky, aren't you? Going up to Colorado to find your sister?"

"Yeah, I hope so. Is there any more news?"

"Some. But it's cold out here and you look about dead on your feet, Colonel. Whyn't you go on over to the hangar and get yourselves something to eat? The wife's opened up the lunch counter just for you."

"Oh, hey, you didn't need to do that," Nick said, but suddenly he was starving.

"No trouble. You trust me to fuel your slick, or you wanna hang around?"

"I trust you, but I'll hang around, anyway. Guys, why don't you go on ahead? I'll be there in a little bit. Murray?"

"Right, I'm going." Murray knew he was the one being sent to get his supper. Cody was allowed to choose when and whether he ate, and allowed to hang around with Nick's friends. Murray turned toward the hangar and Cody slung an arm around his shoulders. It didn't feel dangerous here, surrounded by friends.

"Nick never gets to see these guys," he said quietly. "Od taught him to fly and he was kind of a big deal in 'Nam."

"Yeah, and I don't have anything to do with that. He can call me Colonel all he wants but he's the captain and he's the real soldier."

"Murray—"

"No, forget it. I'm sorry. It's just late and I'm tired."

"You're allowed to be tired, Boz. We'll get you something to eat, a good stiff shot of caffeine, and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, that's what I need. More caffeine."

A cheerful, slender young woman, too young by half for Odell Warner, started putting plates and bowls on the counter as soon as they walked in. She pointed them toward the restrooms without having to be asked, and her smile was all sweetness. When they came back, they found soup, salad, sandwiches, breadsticks, a tray of sliced vegetables, deviled eggs and three kinds of cake lined up on the counter.

"So you all are Nick's friends," she said, not making it a question so they didn't have to answer. "He talks about you all the time."

"I didn't know Nick spent much time up this way," Cody said, in between bites of the best ham sandwich he'd ever tasted.

"Well, he doesn't get up here as often as he used to. But he calls Od a couple times a month and I always get in a few words. My name's Annie, by the way."

"Pleased to meet you," Cody said, and Murray echoed him dully.

"Pleased to meet you, too. Murray, I was awfully sorry to hear about your sister."

"The captain said there was news."

"There was something on the radio but I couldn't hear it very well. He'll tell you all about it when he gets in."

"But—but they say she's alive?" Murray asked, his voice low and cracked.

"I don't know exactly. Here, have some more soup, _liebling_." She ladled out another bowl and he began to eat it automatically, with the long habit of obedience. But if someone didn't tell him something soon, he was going to throw up and it wouldn't make any difference.

Nick came in a few minutes later, called a greeting to Annie, and went straight to the restroom. Od joined them at the counter.

"Sorry to keep you waiting so long, Colonel," he said, friendly yet grave.

"It's all right. Just tell me what you know. What's happening in Colorado? Is Melba alive?"

"I don't know, Colonel. Not for sure."

"Please don't call me that. My name's Murray. Just plain old Murray Bozinsky."

"To me, a soldier's always a soldier. Especially when he's a superior officer."

"I'm pretty sure I'm not your superior, Captain, no matter what the Army says. And it doesn't matter, anyway. Tell me about Melba."

"Well, I hate to talk about what I don't know for sure. At least when it's this important. But they're saying she's alive. They're digging down there day and night, trying to get through that cave in, and they say they can hear her on the other side Sometimes it sounds like she's maybe digging."

"God," Nick said softly, like a prayer.

"That's my Baba. She's never given up on anything in her life. Come on, we need to get going."

"I can't imagine how you're feeling, Murray, and I know you want to get there ASAP, but you boys ought to rest first. There're some cots in the back. Three or four hours in the sack would improve your chances of getting there in one piece."

The three looked at each other as if thinking it over, four tired, anxious, blue eyes conferring with two scared, disappointed, brown ones. After a moment Murray spoke.

"He's right, we should wait. Nick, you've been flying for hours, you need a break."

"No, I'm all right. We can at least make Hanover Field and rest there if we need to."

"I don't recommend it, Nick," Od said seriously. "I'll call Hanover and let 'em know you'll be in around five."

"We need to be in Macon at five," Nick said, looking at Murray. He'd promised and that promise was reflected in the sad brown eyes. But Murray took a deep breath and said the right thing.

"The captain's right, Nick. You need to catch a nap. We won't be able to help Melba if we crash in the desert."

"Are—are you sure, Boz?" Cody sounded worried, and yet relieved. He needed Melba to be okay but he needed Nick more.

"Yes." Hesitantly, and then with more confidence. "Yes, I'm sure. Get some sleep. We won't be that much later." _Baba, forgive me_, he thought, and that was in his eyes, too.

"Murray, no," Nick said fiercely. "I said we'd get there by dawn and we will."

"No, Nick, we're staying here. Captain Warner, thank you for the offer. Will you please show Nick and Cody where they can sleep? I—I want to take a walk."

"By yourself?" Cody asked, his relief evaporating like dew in the desert sun.

"I think it's pretty safe out there, isn't it? If anybody tries to land, I'll hear them coming."

"It's safe enough," Od said, exchanging a glance with his wife. "The gates are closed so no one's going to be driving in, and you won't be able to wander out."

"But I'm going with you," Annie said. "I'll get a flashlight."

"Oh, no, that's alright. I'll be fine, really. And there's plenty of light."

"Never go out in the desert without a flashlight, Colonel," she said seriously. "Not even during the day. Dark sneaks up before you know it, and in the strangest places."

Cody gave Nick a look that said, _And you call her husband Od?_ Nick only shrugged.

"Don't disappoint the lady," Od said with a wink. "She spent two hours cooking for you boys and if she wants to go for a walk, I think you better take her."

"Oh. Well, yes, of course. Since you put it that way, of course." Murray knew he'd been manipulated again, that his friends had teamed up against him, and with people he didn't even know, but there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe someday he'd learn to fight them, but not tonight. He waited for Annie to get the flashlight and her jacket, nibbling a carrot stick and hoping no one would speak. It was plain on his face but Nick spoke anyway.

"We really can go now, Murray. I'm not that tired. We could at least get to Hanover and take a break before we go on to Macon."

"No," Murray said decisively. "When we got to Hanover, it would seem too close to stop. _If_ we got there. Anyway, Mrs. Warner is expecting a midnight stroll and I mustn't let her down." There was something bright in his eyes and in his voice, hard and strange like tempered steel. Not like Murray at all. Nick looked to Cody for help, and in that moment Annie returned.

"That sweater won't do it, _liebling_," she said, handing him a heavy camouflage field jacket. "Od won't mind. Come on, before the moon goes down."

"You two be careful," Cody said.

"He'll take good care of me, I'm sure," Annie smiled back. Ordinarily, Murray would have given them his shy funny wave, but that hardness was still in his eyes and his face gave nothing away. He opened the door for Annie, and the last thing his friends saw was the strange young woman sidling up against him, putting her arm around his waist. His arm dropped to her shoulders and they disappeared into the shadows.

"What's going on here?" Nick asked of no one in particular.

"Your friend's in a lot of pain," Od said quietly, "and she's feeling it. She's a caution, my Annie. She takes the pain out of people."

"How does she do that?" Cody asked, not expecting an answer.

"I'm not sure. It hurts her, it cuts her up like you wouldn't believe, but I think it would hurt her worse not to do it. She'll get whatever it is out of him, for a while at least, and he'll be able to sleep again."

"Nick, do you know what he's talking about?"

"Sort of. She pulled a metal fragment out of my hand once and it was the highlight of my day. But Murray's different, too. He's—fragile."

"Those are her favorites. If you're done eating, I'll show you where you can bunk down."

***

"Gosh, it's so beautiful," Murray breathed, pausing to take in the full moon and starry sky. Even with the hangar and helipad lights, the stars were clear and bright.

"Yeah, we don't have a lot of light pollution out here. Come on, I'll show you where the deer come in at night. I bet you don't see a lot of deer in Redondo."

"No, hardly any. But—Annie, you don't have to come. I just want to be alone for a while."

"_Nein, liebling_. You don't want to be alone. You just want to hurt without hurting your friends."

"It's the same thing. If I'm with them, they hurt with me."

"So, you're not with them now. You're with me and I won't get hurt. I don't know your sister, and I don't love you like they do, so go ahead and grieve. Just don't do it alone."

"They love me too much," he said softly. "So much that they treat me like a child, always trying to protect me. They control me and most of the time I like it but now—now I need to grow up."

"I bet you could take care of yourself just fine if you had to," she said and he heard her smiling.

"Sometimes I do. But right now I'm so scared…"

Annie hugged him harder, telling him it was all right not to talk. She guided him to the place where the deer jumped the fence, a grassy patch about a half acre square, with a single tree and a fallen log. She had imported the sod, planted the tree and had the log flown in, just for this purpose. It was her garden in the desert and tonight there was a deer in it. They sat on the log, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee, conveniently downwind, and Murray watched in rapt fascination.

"They're used to me by now," Annie whispered. "All we have to do is be a little bit quiet and she'll hang around."

"Is it a girl? She's lovely."

"I call this one Diana."

"You know them all?"

"I spend a lot of time out here. We live here, you know. In back of the hangar. _Meiner Mann_ can't stand to be away from his aircraft. I was raised in the woods, with trees and water, but we all make compromises."

"I don't," Murray said softly.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Nick doesn't like the water, but he lives on the boat to be with Cody. Cody hates flying, but Nick loves it so he goes along. I never liked or disliked either one. Sometimes I feel like I hardly exist. I do what I'm told, because mostly I don't care, but even when I do, it doesn't matter."

"What do you care about?"

"My sister," he said without hesitation. "I need to find her."

"You will."

"Yes, but I'll do it their way. It's not even a compromise; I have no say at all. If they could, they'd go without me."

"Do you really think so?"

"It would be easier on them. I just get in the way."

"Would you do it without them, if you could?"

"No," he sighed. "I wish I could, but I wouldn't. I'm not that strong."

"You're plenty strong. And before this is over, you'll prove it."

"You sound sure."

"I am. I know a lot of things, Murray. I'm not a genius like you—well, I am a genius, just not like you. What I know about is people. You're going to find her, and you're going to find yourself. You're too valuable to stay lost for long."

The pricks were tiny, almost painless, like acupuncture. Murray didn't notice he was crying until he saw a tear fall onto his hand. Then he took off his glasses, covered his face and sobbed. Annie put her arm around him, firm and gentle. Murray turned away in embarrassment, tried to pull free and found her suddenly strong.

"_Nein, liebling_, come here," she whispered, catching his cheek in her hand and drawing him close. He laid his head on her breast and let her hold him until the storm had passed. When he straightened up again, there were two more deer.

"I'm sorry," he said, fumbling in his pockets for a handkerchief. But they weren't his pockets and he kept coming up with pliers and bits of wire.

"_Nein_, that's what we came for. Here, use this." She had a handful of tissue in her pocket, proving her words, and he blushed hotly.

"Everyone knows I'm childish, don't they?"

"_Nein_, Murray. Not childish, child_like_. It's not a bad thing. I rather like it, myself. And just because I know something, that doesn't mean _everyone_ does. I am a genius, remember."

"I remember. Is grief your specialty?"

"In a way. Now tell me about your friends. Tell me why you're hurt."

He started at the very beginning, with Litvak and the court-martial and New Orleans. Told her about loving them and being left behind, about finding them again, and finally being loved in return. About the fear and misery and passion and joy in their lives, and how he felt it threatened every time they became the parents and he the child. This time, when he cried, she didn't hold him. He rubbed his eyes with his fingertips and went on.

"They can't lose you, Murray," she said when he was finished. "They can each allow the other to look after himself and if something goes wrong, they will share the blame. If Nick does something stupid and gets hurt, Cody will blame himself a little, but he'll also know that Nick did something stupid. If you get hurt, they won't blame you. They'll feel that it's all their fault, and it will destroy them. Protecting you is just another way of protecting themselves. And you let them have it. That's your compromise."

"It sucks."

"All compromises do."

Murray laughed bitterly, hard and bright, like steel in his throat.

"Does Od know about—about us? Nick always thought it was dangerous to tell, especially with soldiers. But you knew."

"It's my genius, Murray. _Meiner Mann_ might know, but if he does, he doesn't care."

"What word is that? Miner?"

"_Meiner_," she repeated, then spelled it for him. "It means my, or mine. _Meine Großmutter_, my grandmother, was German and she always used that phrase, even though her English was perfect. _Meiner Mann_ means _my husband_. I like it because—well, it applies to your kind of relationship just as well as mine. _My man_, you see."

"I see," he said thoughtfully. "_Meiner_ is the masculine, then, and _Meine_ the feminine?"

"You have a good ear."

"I'm very good with the principles of language. What's the word for sister?"

"_Schwester_," she said, and they practiced until he could say it right. "_Meine Schwester_."

"_Meine Schwester_, the would be miner. You bring a certain amount of surrealism to any occasion, don't you?" Murray asked, knowing she would take it as a compliment.

"I've been told so," she said with a sweet smile.

"Tell me one more word. _Liebling_. What's that mean?"

"It's a term of endearment. Literally, it means _favorite_. I use it rather liberally, but I like the sound. It's what _Meine Großmutter_ called me."

"Grandmothers are great, aren't they?"

"Mine certainly was. Are you ready to go back in?"

"How long have we been out here?"

She pushed her sleeve back and checked her heavy silver watch.

"A couple hours. It's almost time for them to be getting up and you haven't slept at all."

"I don't need as much sleep as they do."

"But you're tired now, aren't you?"

As soon as she said it, he realized he was. Suddenly he could hardly keep his eyes open.

"Come on. You can bed down in your slick and sleep until Hanover, unless the take off wakes you."

"It probably won't." Even as he followed her, Murray wondered what he was doing. She was a stranger, leading him away from his friends, but she knew things. It baffled his scientific mind, but she knew. "How long have you and Od been married?"

"Five years. Since I was eighteen."

"Wow. That's awfully young, isn't it?"

"I suppose for some people. It would have been too young for me to marry anyone else. I'm his third wife, so he was too young before, too."

"His third? If you don't mind my asking, what brought you together? Isn't the age difference a little—daunting?"

"Not for us. He was messed up after the war. That's why his other marriages didn't work. But I take away his pain. He feeds it into me and I disburse it. My ability to absorb pain is almost limitless."

"That sounds good for him, but what about you? What do you get in exchange for disbursing his pain?"

Annie stepped away a little, held her arms up to the sky and spun on her toes like a ballerina. For a few seconds she was so beautiful Murray's heart ached. Then she was by his side again, holding his arm, leading him on in the moonlight.

"I get _everything_, Murray. Just—_everything_."

On the helipad, Annie helped Murray roll back _Mimi_'s cargo door. He climbed inside and she followed, which didn't surprise him. He hardly knew her but already he didn't think anything she did would surprise him much.

"This is nice. I see why you like it."

He tried to remember if he'd said that and realized it didn't matter. He _did_ like it.

"You'll tell the guys I'm here when they wake up?" he asked, taking off the heavy coat.

"Sure. But I'll stay with you a while, if you want. I hate to see anyone go to sleep alone."

"Is that what I'm going to do?"

"I think so." She knelt to spread out the sleeping bag, and Murray, too tired for shyness all of a sudden, took off his shoes and lay down, wadding his sweater into a pillow. Annie took it and folded it nicely for him, as he had for Cody. He gave her a grateful smile, almost unable to keep his eyes open. She leaned down and kissed him softly on the mouth. Murray felt something pierce his heart, like a sliver of ice being forced out, and fell asleep before he could analyze it further. Annie took her husband's coat and slipped away.


	4. Miner

The next thing Murray was aware of was the sensation of falling. His head was filled with thunder and the ground was dropping away. It was dark and soft, but when he reached out, his hand hit something hard. Harder than ground, but not so hard as thunder. Not so hard as the steel that had been in his throat last night. His hand closed on nothing and he sat up screaming.

"Murray." A much loved voice, far away. "_Murray_," it repeated, closer now. "It's okay, Boz, you're just dreaming."

"Cody?" he whispered, trying out his voice to see if the steel was gone. "What's happening?"

"We're landing. We're in Colorado, buddy. You slept right through Hanover."

"I—I did? We're there?"

"We're at the airport. The police are sending a car for us. You must have been having a hell of a dream, Boz."

"I—I guess. I don't really remember. There was thunder and I was falling and—and I don't know."

"It's just the rotors you heard. We hit a draft and took a funny drop there for a second."

"Oh. Yes, that's probably it." Murray was rubbing his eyes, feeling for his glasses on the deck, which must have been what his searching hands had struck. Cody slipped an arm around his waist and handed him his glasses. "I can't believe I slept for so long."

"That girl must have really worn you out," Cody teased, a funny note in his voice.

"She's really—strange."

"Yeah?"

"I liked her, she's Nick's friend's wife, but she's—strange."

"What did she do to you, Murray? Give you drugs, sing the score of _Les Miserables_, what?"

"She listened to me, that's all. I could tell her things because I didn't have to worry about her feelings and she—she said she could take away pain, and she can. She kissed me and I went to sleep."

"She kissed you?" The funny note solidified into real jealousy and Murray smiled.

"Well, yes. Not like you're thinking, don't worry. She's a married woman and I'm—well, I'm a married man." _Meiner_, he thought, smiling. _Ihr Mann. Your man_. "It was just for a second but it did something to me—it was like magic. The pain stopped and I could sleep."

"Od said something about that but it didn't make much sense. I'm glad it worked for you, though. We were pretty worried."

"I'm okay," Murray said confidently. But he always said that, no matter how blatantly untrue it was.

"Yeah, you look great," Cody said with that fake sincerity he did so well. "Let's just straighten up your hair a little and—where are your shoes?"

"Mmm. Somewhere around here, probably. I had them last night. Or this morning. Whenever it was I went to sleep. Annie probably didn't take them." But as strange as she was, he kind of wondered.

Mimi touched down and the rotors' thump slowed, becoming uneven and tired. Cody found Murray's shoes under a seat and put them on him in the interest of time. Murray was running his hands through his hair, trying to fix it and making it worse, worried about who would be meeting them and what the news would be. Cody got a comb from his bag, pushed Murray's hands away gently, and smoothed his hair into order.

"There. You awake now, Boz? You ready?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go find Baba."

***

A Colorado State Police car met them at the helipad and took them straight to the mine, leaving all their belongings in the _Mimi_. They didn't know where they'd be staying and Murray didn't care. He sat in the front seat with the officer, drumming his fingers on his knees and humming the moon song. Nick laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently, trying to calm him down. Murray's body was thrumming with tension and he didn't seem to feel his friend's touch. All he could think of was his Baba, trapped behind a fall deep underground, maybe in water, maybe running out of air.

Police barriers and too many cars lining the narrow road told them they were close. Murray grew more and more tense, looking ahead desperately, first to the site, then beyond it, as if his gaze could penetrate the mountain itself. The car slowed and he threw the door open, leapt out, stumbled, fell and got to his feet all before it came to a stop. Nick and Cody hurried out after him but he was getting away, homed in on something they couldn't recognize at first. Near the mouth of the shaft, just to the right of the barriers, Murray was catching up a tall woman, lifting her off the ground in a powerful hug.

"Mama Bozinsky," Nick said softly, and they slowed down to give Murray a minute alone with her.

"I wish she wasn't here," Cody sighed. "This has to be agony."

"It would be agony no matter where she was. Come on. Let's see what's going on."

When they reached him, Murray was still holding his mother protectively and arguing with an official. He wanted to go into the mine. Nick started to protest and Cody stopped him with a look. _Better let him have his way, if he can. We'll go with him_. Nick's eyes agreed, a little reluctantly.

"You could consider us volunteers," Nick told the official. "I'm in the Army Reserves, trained in rescue operations, and we served in Vietnam."

"You all served?" His glance included Murray, doubtful and uncertain.

"Colonel Bozinsky, retired," Murray said, not precisely answering the question. The official looked him up and down and decided there might be a job for him. Three days into the rescue, they were getting pinched for wiry men.

"All right, let's get you suited up. We've got coveralls and boots—you'll want boots in there—and air tanks. So far the air's good, but you never trust it underground. Keep your tank close at all times. Any of you dive?"

"We all do," Cody said quickly. Murray wasn't very good yet but he'd had some lessons. Enough, probably.

"Good deal. Come on, I'll show you where you can change."

Marta clung to her son's hand and he paused to hug her close again.

"It's going to be all right, Mama," he whispered. "I'm going to go find her."

"Don't you get lost, too, Scooter," was all she said. "I can't lose you both."

"You're not losing anyone." He kissed her once and let her go. It was time to be brave.

"Exactly what are we looking at in there?" Nick asked the official as they went into a hastily erected tent. Clothes and boots were stacked in boxes along one wall and a partition provided some privacy for showering. Only Murray noticed that there were no hard hats.

The official, whose name was Randal, sorted out coveralls in roughly corresponding sizes, and laid out the situation for them while they changed.

"The cave-in is about a quarter mile down the main shaft and two-three hundred feet down a side spur. The ceiling dropped in for twenty, maybe thirty feet, and we're digging through that now. We tried going down an air shaft and getting in from behind, but there were too many other collapses between. We tried digging a new hole to the side of the tunnel and going in laterally, but the ground's too unstable. Everything we did just dropped more shit on her. This thing's been closed since the Civil War ended; there's no telling what-all's in there."

"But digging through the debris isn't disturbing the ground?" Murray asked, zipping the coveralls over his narrow chest. It fit him pretty well, in spite of his unminerly height, and he bent to lace up his boots.

"It is, a little. But it's the best we can do with the time we have. If we had weeks to do the job instead of hours, the lateral course would be the best. As it is—well, we're running out of time. To tell you the truth, I'm glad you're here. We've all been worried about your mother."

"So am I. And the best thing we can do for her is to find my sister." He slung an air tank on his back and took a two way radio, clipping it to a loop on the coveralls.

"You're sure you want to go in there, Boz?" Cody asked, his tone saying plainly that it was okay to back out. Hot resentment flared in Murray's chest, showing for only a second as steel in his eyes.

"I'm sure. And if you don't hurry, I'll go without you. Mr. Randal, how far do you think you are from the cavern? You said the collapse was twenty or thirty feet long."

"They were about fifteen feet in when I came up. We'd have gotten farther but there were holdups, other collapses—I tell you, that whole mess—it's a real God help us. I wouldn't be letting you guys in at all if you weren't soldiers." He gave Murray another doubtful look. Maybe he was a colonel, but he certainly wasn't a line officer. Still, a skinny guy could be useful in these situations and they didn't have one any smaller. "You have any medical training?"

"Some," Murray said and the guys nodded. They were all CPR certified and knew basic first aid, for what it was worth.

"Then let's go. Grab a flashlight on your way out. We've got electric but it's flaky as hell."

Nick and Cody exchanged another look, almost called a halt, and then didn't. They followed Murray's straight back past his mother and into the mouth of the mine. It was like being swallowed whole.

A quarter of a mile wasn't much on packed sand or a nice paved sidewalk. Underground, it was something else altogether. Walking down an ever steepening grade, stumbling on rocks and random holes in the ground, it seemed that the tunnel went on forever. The earth was groaning around them, eerily similar to the sounds inside the _Riptide_, and yet worlds apart. Pebbles rolled down the walls in runnels of dirt and Murray wondered, not for the first time, what his sister had been doing here at all. He asked Randal and received an unsurprising answer.

"Something to do with some miners who died down here back in the eighteen fifties. The part of the mine they were in was shut down and the bodies were never recovered. This group wanted to try and find them, indentify the bodies and rebury them up top. The leader of the group is a friend of your sister's and he talked her into coming along."

"How'd they get permission?" Cody asked. "It doesn't look like a regular tourist spot."

"No, Mr. Allen, it isn't. And they didn't get permission. No one would have approved it, for this very reason. Those guys knew it, too. Assholes spent the whole first day trying to dig her out themselves so they wouldn't get in trouble."

"Can we at least find Melba before we start assigning blame?" Murray asked, trying to hurry ahead.

"No one's blaming anyone," Cody said, perhaps not speaking for everybody. He put his hand on Murray's arm and Murray shook him off.

"It doesn't matter. Are we almost there?"

"Little ways yet." Randal was using a flashlight to supplement the flickering bulbs overhead and Murray had to stay behind him. It was terribly frustrating, but he knew if he went faster he'd probably fall. Murray hated being clumsy, hated being pushed around and knowing that he needed it. Hated always being wrong. He saw flashlights bobbing up ahead, coming toward them, and resisted the urge to shout. Maybe there was news. Maybe they'd already gotten to her. Randal must have been thinking the same, because he quickened his pace and Murray, bent over and trying not to bump his head, followed. Nick and Cody were close behind, crouched and holding each other up, when another groaning rumble sent a fall of dirt down on their heads. Cody was trying to shake it out of his face when he lost his balance. He staggered, stepped on a rock and fell, twisting his ankle and cutting up his hands. Nick tried to help him up but it was no good. He was already out of the game.

"What are we gonna do now?" Nick asked, of no one in particular.

"You'll have to take him back," Murray said, not coldly but decisively enough. "I'm going on."

"No," Cody said quickly. "Nick, leave me here and go with Murray. He needs you more than I do."

"I can walk," Murray said, colder this time, and Nick tended to agree. But he couldn't let Murray go alone. Someone had to keep an eye on him.

"You can't stay here," Randal said, the voice of authority. "That's a bad idea for about fifty reasons, and all of 'em different. If you can't walk out, you better let Ryder take you."

Nick honestly didn't know which way to turn, and then the problem was solved. The bobbing flashlights arrived, a group of diggers going up for a break while others took their place, and they volunteered to see Cody got out safely. They were professionals and didn't care for the idea of civilians underground anyway.

Nick gripped Cody's hand briefly, the most he could do under the circumstances, and Murray managed to tell him to be careful before going on. Cody hung onto Nick just long enough to make him promise to look after Murray and Nick agreed. But they both had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

The floor leveled out a little at the junction and then the other shaft continued down. The sounds of voices and steel against rock were clearer here, but Murray didn't think it was loud enough. Not enough was happening and, as he approached, it got quieter. Men in coveralls were leaning on shovels or against the tunnel walls, some watching avidly and others averting their eyes. Randal went straight to the head digger and asked what the holdup was.

"We've dug about as far as we can with picks and shovels. Terry almost got through and then he ran into a mess of beams and shit. He tried to shift 'em and the whole thing started creaking and groaning. We can't dig through wood and we sure as shit can't blast it, so I don't know what to do next."

"The maze is too tight?" Murray asked, drawing the speaker's attention for the first time.

"Yeah. We got two little guys on the crew and they're both out of commission. Eric broke his leg yesterday and Pony's coughing up blood. If we can't come up with anything else I'll get him back down here, but I sure hate to. He was in bad shape when he went up."

"Shit," Randal said noncommittally. "That's too bad about Pony. Can we find someone else?"

"I called up to Denver for some more diggers but they can't get down here 'til tonight. You know we already got every experienced underground man in a hundred miles. Hey, what about this guy? He's skinny as hell, he might fit." Liability and union issues were making it hard to recruit diggers, so he had to assume that anyone who got inside was qualified and cleared to work.

"No," Nick said, so forcefully that everyone was surprised.

"I'll do it," Murray said, as if he hadn't heard. "She's my sister, of course I will."

"You can't help her if you go in there and get hurt," Nick argued. "Let me do it. I've had more experience…"

"In mines? I don't think so."

"You're too big anyway, Ryder. If you could do it then Terry could, and we wouldn't be having this conversation. Okay, Colonel, fuck the union. Here's what you're gonna do," he said, and it seemed to be decided, just like that. Nick asked for a minute to discuss it and pulled Murray aside.

"You can't do this, Boz. I know you want to, but you can't. It's crazy."

"Why, because I'm a geek? You think I can't crawl through a tunnel as well as a socially competent person? I can do what I have to, and right now I have to get to my sister."

"And what will happen when you do? If she's hurt, you won't be able to move her. How will you get out?"

"I don't know. But if she's hurt, she needs me. I can maybe do something for her, buy her some more time while they figure it out. All of this is basically a matter of time. Just getting her some water will have to help."

"Murray…"

"_No_. There's nothing you can say to stop me, Nick. I _have_ to. I know what you're thinking." He lowered his voice, pitched so that no one else could hear, and said, "I know you're scared. I'm scared, too. But I have to try. And you'll always have Cody, no matter what."

"I need you, too," Nick whispered, but he was already resigning himself. Murray hugged him very briefly and turned back to Randal.

"What do I do?"

"You're gonna crawl through this shaft for about twenty five feet, and then you'll hit a mess of shit. Terry says a skinny guy can get through it, going up over the first couple and then under the rest. Take your air tank, she might need it. But not on your back, it'll hang you up for sure. Take it off and push it ahead of you in the tunnel. Keep your radio inside your coveralls so you don't lose it. There's a loop here…" He paused and unzipped Murray's suit enough to slide the radio in and fasten the clip to the loop. "You won't be able to handle the flashlight and the tank at the same time, so we're gonna make a blanket bundle, along with some water and food, and you'll drag it along."

"Drag?" Nick said, spotting the flaw at once.

"Afraid so. We'll tie the bundle to your waist and you'll have a knife so you can cut it free if it hangs you up. But obviously, you don't want to have to do that."

"Obviously. Do you have any idea how you'll get us out once I reach her?"

"We're working on that. Ideally, once you get in there with the light, you'll be able to help her out the way you went in. Terry said she doesn't have a light and he tried to shine his through but he couldn't see much."

"Did—did he see Melba?" Murray's calm was shaken for just a second and Randal gave him a sympathetic look that went almost entirely unnoticed in the poor light.

"No, but he heard her. Said she was asking for someone named Scooter."

"Aw Jeez," Murray sighed, shaken once more. If he didn't get going soon, all his strength would be gone.

"We were hoping that was her dog and not a dead relative or something."

"No," Murray said, stronger now. "It's me. She's calling for me."

"Then you better get moving. Here, take this helmet. We don't have enough and the lights are fucked up, cheap government surplus shitbag… Well, never mind. It won't last long but it should get you inside."

"All right, thanks," he said, switching on the light and putting it on. How could they be running an underground rescue effort without miner's helmets? He shook his head and the light danced.

"Murray, wait," Nick said, grabbing his arm one last time as he moved toward the hole.

"Nick, I have to go." The fear of death made him brave and he kissed his lover tenderly before climbing up into the makeshift tunnel. The blanket bundle was wrapped in slick plastic and slid along behind him, the last thing they saw as Murray disappeared.

Inside the tunnel was cold and cramped, wetter than he'd hoped, and pitch black around the edges of his pale, flickering light. Rocks dug into his knees and elbows, caught the radio attached to his chest and scraped his back when he tried to rise up to give it clearance. Behind him, the bundle caught and bounced free, only to catch again, and he feared having to cut it loose. At least it wasn't tied to his ankle, as he'd first thought they might do. He would have hated that more, like a corpse hand holding him back. He crawled on into the shifting darkness, away from light and love and life, and tried not to think about corpses. He was glad that Cody was above ground and hoped that, if it went badly for him in here, Nick would go up, too. It occurred to him then that he had done the impossible just now, facing down his friends and getting his way for maybe the first time ever. Maybe the last time, too.

"Baba?" he called softly. "Baba, can you hear me? I'm coming." Twenty five feet didn't seem like much. Hardly more than three body lengths, and Murray didn't think that was a lot. But it took him nearly ten minutes to crawl that distance with the bundle hanging up and the rocks gouging him from every side. He wondered how anyone any bigger than himself had managed to work in here with tools. Whatever these men were paid, it wasn't enough.

"I hope you've learned your lesson, Baba," he panted, pulling himself forward with his elbows. "Sunken _Unterseeboote_ are one thing but mines? No more, please."

His flickering helmet lamp showed him the beams at last, and as he reached for them he heard Randal's voice over the radio.

"How're you doing, Colonel? Over."

Murray turned on his side and fumbled the radio free. His light went out just then and he cursed it softly.

"I'm almost there. I just got to the—uh—the wood maze, but my lamp's out. I'm going to put the radio down and get the flashlight, see if I can find my way through. I'll contact you from the other side. Over."

"Murray, wait," and this time it was Nick's voice. Murray's chest tightened and tears stung his dirt clogged eyes and throat.

"Copy?" he whispered.

"Murray, be careful. If you don't make contact in two minutes, I'm coming after you."

"Put Randal back on. Over." He was choking, trying not to cry, knowing he couldn't hear that voice anymore if he wanted to make it.

"I'm here, Colonel. What do you need?"

"Randal, get two or three big guys to hold onto Ryder for me. We don't need any more of a clusterfuck in here than we've already got. Copy that?"

"Roger, Colonel. Copy clusterfuck. But you got two minutes anyway. Then I'm gonna start bugging you myself. Over."

"Roger that. Two minutes. Over and out." _God, don't let Nick come in here, he prayed silently. You've always been good to us, you've always protected us. Please protect us a little longer. Please protect my love_. He put the radio away and got hold of the rope to draw his bundle closer. The flashlight wasn't inside as he'd feared, rather it was clipped to the rope above the bundle with a heavy carabineer. He shined it into the maze of eight by eight beams and tried to remember the over and under pattern Randal had described.

"Baba, I'm coming," he called and shoved the air tank out of the tunnel, following it quickly, before it could get away. He thought he heard an answer but the rattle of the air tank against the rocks made it impossible to be sure. He heaved it over the first beam and followed it with the bundled blanket. Gracelessly, he crawled over and repeated the process at the next beam. After that, the beams were high enough for him to crawl under and he pushed the tank ahead, letting the bundle drag again. He could see into the main shaft now, see a long, still body on the ground, and his heart leapt into his throat.

"Baba?" he called, then held his breath.

"Scooter?" she called back and Murray wept.

He'd almost reached her when his radio crackled to life again with Nick's voice demanding a response. He wondered how his friend had gotten it away from Randal and hoped they were actually holding onto him.

"Nick, calm down, I'm okay," he radioed back. "I'm inside the main shaft and I've found Melba. Now stop bothering me so I can take care of her. Over."

"Colonel, can you tell us her condition?"

"I don't know, I've been on the fucking radio since I got here. Over and out." He put it down next to Melba, untied the rope around his waist and went over her body with the flashlight.

"Baba, talk to me," he said quietly, stroking her dirty face. "Where are you hurt, sweetheart?"

"Scooter?" she said again, sounding dazed. "Murray, is that you?"

"Yes, it's me. I'm here, Baba." He kept caressing her face, her hair, afraid to touch anywhere else until he knew where she was hurt.

"Murray, I've been so scared," she sighed. "Will you get me out?"

"I'm going to try. Can you walk, Baba?"

"I think so. I tried—I tried to get through the cave-in but—I think my arm's broken."

"Which arm?" His heart was pounding, his mind racing as he tried to figure out how she could climb over those beams. But at least it wasn't a leg. Or he hoped it wasn't. She was so vague, not her usual sharp self at all, and he was braced for surprises.

"My left. I was covering my head when it happened and something hit me. Something big."

Murray was feeling her arm cautiously through her long sleeved sweatshirt. It was swollen but not cold and he couldn't feel any bones moving.

"Okay, Baba, it's okay," he whispered. Thinking fast, he unzipped his coveralls and took off the t-shirt beneath. He tore it into strips, tied them together and bound her broken forearm to her body. "I have to call the rescue crew now and tell them what's going on. They're going to want to know how badly you're hurt so they can give me instructions. Can you tell me anything else? Do you have any pain in your back or—or your belly? Any internal injuries?"

"No. Scooter, I'm cold. And thirsty. I haven't had water in—I don't know how long. My watch stopped and—how long has it been?"

"Three days, I think. I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner. I came as fast as I could." Now that he believed it was safe to move her, he was sitting her up and wrapping her in the blanket. Melba shivered and pressed close to her skinny brother, the only source of heat in this great, damp hole.

"I knew you would. I knew you'd come, Scooter. But I wasn't sure they'd let you in."

"Who, the miners? I told them I was a colonel and they got the idea somehow that I'd served in 'Nam."

"No, not them. Nick and Cody. I thought they might keep you out."

"They tried. Cody sprained his ankle or he might be the one here right now. Nick's too big."

Melba laughed and it turned into a cough.

"Can I have some water? You brought water, didn't you?"

"Oh, yes, right here. I'm so sorry." He picked up the canteen, which had fallen out of the bundle when he untied it, and held it for her to drink. "Just a little, Baba. Just a few sips at a time, okay?"

She had a hard time restraining herself and over the next five minutes he let her drink most of it. He offered her protein bars but she wasn't hungry. Murray figured three days in this hole would kill anyone's appetite and didn't try to force her. She was still drinking when he picked up the radio again. He told them about the broken arm and how he'd given her the water, and said that he thought she could walk but maybe not crawl. Randal told him to wait while they discussed it and that was when the earth groaned again. The eight by eights were moving, the cavern was shaking, and dirt rained down everywhere. Murray shoved the radio and flashlight inside his clothes, put his helmet on Melba's head, and pushed her down, covering her body with his own. She curled on her side beneath him, the helmet digging into his chest, protected from the rocks and debris that battered his thin frame.

The radio was shouting at him again even before the eerie movement of the earth had stopped. Murray was dazed, scared almost out of his mind, and feeling in a vague way what was probably going to be real pain once the adrenaline wore off. Between that and the near hysteria of the voice on the radio, he couldn't even tell who it was.

"Are you okay, Baba?" he asked urgently, pushing himself carefully off of her. Pain slashed up his spine and he bit his lips to restrain a groan. Suddenly there was no light at all and the darkness covered them like a blanket.

"Yeah. Did we lose the light? Please tell me we didn't lose the light."

"No, the light's right here." He turned it on and surveyed the damage. The beams had all come down, and so had the tunnel he'd come through. At least their end of it, and he assumed the rest. They'd have to wait for it to be dug out again.

"Murray, I have an idea," she said. "I couldn't do it alone because of my arm, but I might know how we can get out."

"You do? That's great, because it doesn't look too good over there."

"Answer the radio before those guys stroke out and tell them we need time to think. Tell them not to disturb the earth again for a few minutes, at least."

"Okay. But they don't really listen to me, you know."

"They have to this time, Scooter. You're the one inside."

He smiled grimly at the idea that this was what it took to get simple respect from people. Still smiling, he pulled out the radio and hit the button a couple of times to interrupt the transmission.

"I can't answer if you don't shut up," he said, too harshly. It was Nick on the air and Nick didn't deserve his anger. But Murray had to be angry or he'd cry.

"Are you all right, Boz?"

"I'm okay. Is the tunnel down out there?"

"There's maybe ten feet open. What's it like in there?"

"Fubar," he said shortly. "But the beams are out of the way if they want to dig through again, so that might be a good thing."

"No, it isn't," came Randal's voice. "That's all that was holding it up. If we start digging now, the whole thing's gonna come down on you in about five minutes. We're working on a new plan but it's gonna be a while. Copy? Over."

"Yeah, copy that," Murray said. "Melba's got a plan, though. We need a few minutes to work it out so don't do anything to shake us up. I'll get back to you when we're ready. Over."

"Thank God for geniuses. Let me know what you need and we'll get on it. Over."

"Thanks. Couple minutes more. Over and out." He lowered the radio and asked Melba what she had in mind.

"I have a map. That's why I came along. I have the most thorough map of this mine in existence."

"Great. What does it say?"

"There's a secondary shaft further down this line, about five feet into that rubble there," she said, pointing North, the opposite direction from where he'd come in. "It bends back east and toward the surface. I tried to dig into it with my hands but it hurt so bad, I couldn't get anywhere."

"It's okay, Baba. Let me see the map."

"In my bag, over there."

He fished it out and they went over it together with his flashlight. Hers had gone out yesterday and Murray was thinking he might be able to use it to dig.

"This is incredible. How'd you get so much detail? The rescue guys don't have a map anywhere near this good."

"I spent months putting it together from surveyor's maps, miner's diaries—I came out and searched the mountain a dozen times, looking for these holes on the surface. I just wish I didn't have the only copy. The guys didn't understand it very well so they left it to me. And then we all split up anyway, looking for that branch. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"My guys are the same way. We use computers for everything and they can hardly turn one on. Of course, they never leave me alone," he added with a dry laugh that was almost a sob. "But I'd think the rescuers would have found where this shaft comes out, unless it's caved in, too."

"It's boarded over and covered with scrub brush. I barely found it and I knew where it was. But if you can open a hole in that fall wide enough for us to get through, we might be able to walk out."

"Can you remember the landscape on top? Can we radio to them where to find the mouth so they can help?"

"I think so. There's a tree and a boulder…" She paused for another drink of water. "Murray, is there any air getting in here? I used to be able to feel a draft and now I can't."

"That last collapse might have closed it off. It's okay, we have an O2 tank and—and we'll get out as fast as we can." He lifted the radio and took a deep, steadying breath. "Randal, can you hear me? Over."

"Copy, Colonel. What's the situation?"

"Melba's got a better map than you have and it looks like there might be a—a back door. I'm going to let her give you the ground coordinates. What we need is a crew to go in from up there and help us dig out. Over."

"Roger that, Colonel, but we already tried. The ground's too unstable for a major operation. Over."

"Yeah, copy unstable, but this is an open shaft. Unless it's caved in somewhere else, she says it's just boarded up at the mouth and overgrown. All you need to do is walk in and dig southwesterly through this fall at the bottom. You'll come in where we are, behind the fall you're digging now. Over."

"Copy, that. Give us a minute. Over."

"I think they came down another shaft before," Melba said. "They tried to get through this North fall from the far North side and couldn't, but coming from the East, they won't have to go all the way through and it might support the ceiling a little longer."

"I hope so. Here, give them the coordinates, before they find a reason not to try."

Melba took the radio and made her first personal contact with the outside world in three days.


	5. Cuddle and Croon

"Take a break, Scooter. You're wearing yourself out and you've hardly gotten anywhere."

"Doesn't mean I shouldn't try," he panted, digging into the loose rock with the butt of her dead flashlight. It had been hours, maybe half a day, since the rescue crew agreed to try the secondary shaft, and as of yet they'd heard no progress. They couldn't know it, but that shaft was down in two different places and supports were being made on demand as the rubble was cleared. It was better than the one they'd been trying to clear, but still the work went slowly.

Nick was still in the tunnel close by, checking in on the radio every fifteen minutes, but Randal had gone with the digging crew and was out of touch. Murray didn't like that. It meant there was still too much earth between them and the diggers. So he kept working at the fall, chipping it away a little at a time, until his chest began to feel tight. Maybe it was the dirt in the air and maybe they were running out of oxygen. He couldn't tell for sure yet, but he feared it was the latter.

"Scooter, I need you," Melba said and suddenly he did know. He was using up all their air.

"Oh, Baba," he sighed, dropping the flashlight. "I've screwed everything up again."

"No. Come here, big brother." She held out her hand and he felt his way back to her in the dark. She had the good light but they were saving the batteries. Murray walked into her hand and grabbed it, holding on tight as he lowered himself to the ground and eased her into his arms. She had lost the helmet at some point and her hair was soft against his chest.

"You're my hero, Murray. You came for me, hundreds of miles away and God knows how deep underground. I was praying for you and you came. You didn't screw anything up."

"Except that I probably caused those beams to fall by disturbing them when I came through. And now I'm not even strong enough to get you out. All I did was take the place of someone who maybe could have done it better."

"But no one was. No one was coming to get me, Murray. If they _could_ get in, they wouldn't have let you do it."

"That's probably true. I'm kind of a last resort in anything physical. I'm just so sorry I can't do better for you. I wanted so much to just carry you out of here to safety."

"Safety would be nice. But if I can't get out, I'm glad you're here. I wanted you more than anyone else in the world, and I think you'll get out, even if I don't."

"Hush, Baba, don't say that. I won't leave without you." That was truer than he wanted to admit. Murray tried to keep his voice steady, feeling a not unpleasant lethargy stealing over him. Even if help came, it might be hard to get up again.

"It's okay, Scooter. I'm not planning on dying down here anyway. I just wish we had a shovel. And some air."

"Do you need air? Let me see your eyes." He shined the light in her face, studying the whites of her eyes and wiping away some of the dirt from the delicate skin around them. It was hard to tell in the shadows but he thought she looked a little blue. Her eyes were definitely bloodshot and he suspected his were, too.

"Here, take a few breaths," he said, turning on the valve and putting the mask over her face. Melba, who was an excellent diver, took five slow, deep breaths and then pushed the mask away.

"That's good. I'm okay for a while. Have some yourself, Scooter."

Murray took two breaths and closed the valve. It made him feel so much better that he was a little scared. He hadn't known how poor the air was until he had some that was really good.

"Let's not talk for a while, okay, Baba? They have to reach us soon." She nodded against his chest and he tried to find a more comfortable position against the wall. His back ached miserably, making him wonder if, between the rock fall and the digging, he might have sprung a rib. And his coverall was irritating beyond all reason, not just wet but sticky, too, as if the dank water had sugar or something in it. And, even more oddly, it felt almost warm.

"Remember when we used to go camping?" Melba asked sleepily. "I always loved sharing a tent with you. Making shadow animals with our flashlights and—telling ghost stories."

"It was great, Baba. You always got scared and crawled into my sleeping bag, just like this."

"I knew you'd protect me. My big brother…"

"Shh. No more talking. We'll be okay if we breathe slow."

She nodded again and he laid his hand lightly on her cheek, where he could feel her breath on his fingers.

"I love you, Murray," she whispered.

"Shh, I know. I love you, too."

After that she was quiet, breathing slow and shallow against his chest. Murray thought it was funny in a way. Only his baby sister would see him as a hero come to rescue her. Anyone else would be disappointed to be in this situation and find that Murray Bozinsky was his or her best hope of survival. He wished he could spare the oxygen to sing her the moon song, the only thing he could give that no bigger, stronger man could. But it was getting too close to waste precious air singing.

Every fifteen minutes he would turn the valve and put the mask over her nose and mouth for a minute of good air, then take one breath for himself. Melba didn't wake completely, but her hand would come up to hold the mask and she sighed sadly when he took it away. Murray would happily have given her his, as well, but he didn't dare. If he had any less oxygen he would pass out and Melba, too far gone to regulate the tank herself, wouldn't get any. Or she would use it up too fast. Either way, she needed him. So he breathed just enough to stay awake and keep his sister alive, listening all the while for the sounds of digging to the North.

"Murray? Murray, are you there? Over." The radio, he realized dimly. Nick or Randal? He wished it was Randal but it wasn't.

"Copy, Nick. Still here."

"Murray, you're fading out. What's going on?" He sounded panicked and Murray smiled a little. He might be panicking himself if he had the energy. But panic was for people who could breathe.

"Running out of air, Nick. Getting short. Where's Calvary? Over"

"Don't you mean cavalry?"

"No difference, Nick. One or the other…Getting short. Tell Cody…I'm sorry. And Mama. I love you and I'm so sorry." He dropped the radio and reached for the familiar air valve in the dark. Melba stirred a little as the mask covered her face and Nick's voice came over the radio, bullying and scared.

"Murray? Murray, come back. Over." He paused, waiting for an answer that didn't come. "Murray, damn it, come back. They're getting close, Boz, just hang on. Do you hear me? _Do you hear me?_ Over."

Murray took a single breath from the tank and closed the valve. Then he thumbed the radio one last time.

"Copy, Nick. Hanging on. Calvary's coming. Over and out."

Murray heard more chatter, more voices on the radio, but didn't give them much attention. Even when he recognized Nick, he didn't answer. Talking to Nick upset him too much. The others were probably rescuers and he hoped that meant they were close. If he was getting transmissions from inside the North fall that was good. He thought about cutting in and asking but he couldn't get his head together enough to carry it off. After an unknown amount of time passed, he put the mask over Melba's face and opened the valve. When he dozed off, he left it in place, letting Melba breathe.

The next time he opened his eyes, a draft of cold air was washing over him. He breathed deep but didn't try to sit up. His limbs were heavy, his head full of sand, and he couldn't remember where he was.

"Colonel? Colonel Bozinsky? Can you hear me?"

He fumbled for the radio and dropped it, but didn't seem to notice.

"Murray," he said hoarsely. "Just Murray. Over."

"Colonel, open your eyes. Wake up, it's time to go."

He dragged his eyes open and was blinded by light.

"What? What's going on?"

"It's time to go, Colonel. Come on, it's me, Randal. Remember?"

Murray rubbed his eyes and struggled to sit up.

"Where's Baba? Melba. Where's Melba?"

"She's already out. Can you walk? Because we've got to go." As he said it, Murray could hear the earth moving around them again. Mustering his strength, he grabbed Randal's hand.

"I can walk. Help me up, I can walk. Is Melba all right?"

"She looks good. There was a little air still in the tank and she got through the tunnel on her own."

Murray nodded, still blinking against the light blazing from many lanterns. His glasses were in his pocket but he didn't put them on. They wouldn't do any good.

"The tunnel's over this way, Colonel. Can you see?"

"No. The light…Is Melba all right?"

"You already asked that. She's fine. We had a crew in the shaft with a stretcher and they must have her halfway up by now." Randal was leading Murray with an arm around his waist, holding him up as he tripped and stumbled over the loose debris. "You should have used your light once in a while to keep your eyes steady."

"We did, at first. Then the air got short. We shared but we got so weak. Forgot the light. Calvary was coming."

"Cavalry," Randal corrected automatically. He'd missed that conversation.

"One or the other. I gave her the tank and tried to stay awake. Is she all right?"

"Jesus God," Randal said quietly. Maybe he was wrong about the skinny geek not being a line officer. Maybe he was a leader of men. "She's all right, Colonel. You're the one we're worried about now. This is a tight squeeze, but not as tight as the one coming in. You go ahead." Randal was afraid that if Murray tried to follow, he might get tired and quit. It was too narrow to turn around and do anything if he did. This way Randal could poke and prod and maybe keep him moving. Should have brought another stretcher, he thought now, but Murray had sounded strong enough on the radio. They assumed the fresh air would revive him, and there was no carrying anyone through this part anyway.

"Where's the light coming from?" Murray thought everyone else had gone ahead but the light seemed to be everywhere.

"There's a lantern behind us that I didn't want to carry, and a bunch of guys in the shaft ahead of us, waiting for you. It's not far now."

Murray felt his way into the mouth of the tunnel and crawled forward on his hands and knees. He bumped his head sharply, felt blood run stinging into one eye, and dropped to his elbows. Crawling and scraping, he made it into the middle of the fall and ran into a dead end.

"Randal? I can't—it's blocked," he called back, wanting to lie down and sleep. If it were caved in again he would die here, but at least he would be able to rest.

"It's a right turn, Colonel. Back up just a little and go right. It's just a few more feet into the shaft." Murray was squirming, trying to feel his way and Randal got on the radio again.

"This is Randal, calling North Shaft. Can you guys cut the lights out there? The Colonel's blind. Over."

"Copy, Randal. How much light?"

"Take it down to one lantern, North Shaft, and keep it below the rim of the tunnel. Over."

The light vanished at once and Murray sighed with relief.

"Can you see anything, Colonel?"

"Yeah, there's a spot off to my right, like a sunrise."

"That's it. Get yourself to the horizon and my guys will take care of the rest."

Murray twisted his body right and went on crawling. _This never ending road to Calvary_, sang an unknown voice in his head. He wondered where he'd heard it. Why someone he didn't know, who had never been in this mine, would be singing about his personal experience. But the road was ending. The small sunrise was getting closer, the voices louder, the fresh air stronger. He was making it and Melba was somewhere up ahead.

He put his right elbow down on the floor of the tunnel and was shocked when his hand fell into space. Someone grabbed it and then rough, strong hands were pulling him out, turning him over, laying him down. It was like being born.

"Colonel, we only have a minute but the doctor needs to look you over. Are you hurt?"

"No. Just my back. I think it's bruised, and I'm all cut to hell, but I'm okay. I just can't see."

"Doesn't sound okay to me," said a strange voice and someone laid a cold, wet cloth over his face. "How long ago did you get this cut?"

"Which one?" Murray asked, trying not to laugh.

"On your head. The one that's still bleeding."

"Oh. Just now. In the tunnel, just now. I'm okay."

"Here, suck some air, Colonel." This was definitely the doctor and Murray wished they'd stop calling him that. But then there was a mask over his face and that was good. The pure oxygen made him feel stronger, more awake and more aware of the danger. He took the cloth that was folded on his forehead and wiped his eyes clear. The light was still too powerful and he was careful to keep them closed as he sat up.

"One more minute. Where's all this blood…" the doctor was saying, but Murray pushed him away.

"I'm ready. Does someone have a—a big handkerchief or a scarf or something?"

The diggers were all wearing them around their necks, traditional last lines of defense in a mine. One man took his off and put it in Murray's questing hand.

"Randal, blindfold me, please, and lead me out. This light's killing me."

"You're the boss, Colonel," he shrugged, even though he, Randal, was actually in charge. He tied the blindfold and kept his mouth shut about the rest. He guessed that the skinny colonel could argue with the doctor all night, and they didn't have that kind of time. "Just keep your head down and pick up your feet."

The crew went ahead, leaving two men to take up the rear in case Randal needed help. They were all a little impressed by the skinny civilian (because while colonel might be a high rank up top, it didn't mean dick in the mines), but no one thought he could walk far in his condition. This shaft angled farther North and was longer than the one Murray had taken to get in. He made it the first eighth of a mile just holding Randal's arm for guidance, but after a short rest he couldn't go on. Randal supported him with an arm around his waist for a while but the bent over posture was hard on them both.

"Rob, you got a strong back," he called to one of the men behind them. "Come up here and duckwalk the Colonel for a while."

Murray tried to ask what that meant but he didn't have the energy. Rob was a digger, too big to fit through the makeshift tunnel, but useful for this very thing. He took Randal's place by Murray's side, his size reassuring to the tired, blind man.

"Put your right arm across my back, sir," he said, grabbing Murray's left hand in his own and holding his right hand over his shoulder. "Just put your weight on me and keep your feet moving."

Murray wasn't sure he liked the sound of that but he was too tired to fight. He was almost too tired to be surprised that the broad back held him up so well. It was oddly comfortable and he held on tight, picking his feet up carefully, trusting and blind. Once he got the hang of it, he could almost do it in his sleep.

"Colonel, you awake?" Rob asked after a while. Murray felt the deep voice as much as heard it, a rumble under his chest like when the earth moved.

"I'm awake," he mumbled and promptly collapsed. Randal was beside him in a second, picking him up, taking Murray's left arm across his own shoulders and pushing Rob faster. Murray's feet were dragging and he made only occasional efforts to walk. He wanted to ask again if Melba was all right but he didn't have enough breath to speak.

Outside the mine, people were starting to get excited. There hadn't been time to string the electric wires over here and the diggers' lights were visible as stars in the distance. Nick saw and had to be restrained from going in and meeting them. Cody was sitting in a folding chair close to the mouth of the mine, his bandaged ankle propped up on a box, holding hands with Marta Bozinsky. Someone pushed Nick into a chair beside them but as soon as the first man exited the mine, he was on his feet and running toward it. The whole crowd started that way, dozens of people who had been working at the South shaft for four days and had come around the mountain for the happy ending. The diggers were trying to keep everyone back, someone was calling for a stretcher, and Nick was dying of suspense. Then, through the noise and confusion, he heard Randal call his name.

"That's me," he said to the digger holding him back. "I'm Ryder, let me go."

The other man didn't, but he did turn around and lead Nick into the mouth of the mine. The lanterns made it as bright as the sunset outside and he saw when Randal let Murray collapse for the last time. They laid the skinny man down on his back, Randal himself kneeling to catch his head, and then someone was covering his face with an oxygen mask. Nick froze for just a second, until he saw that Murray was breathing, and then he broke away from the digger and ran.

"Murray," he shouted, the sound vibrating off the walls.

"Hey, careful," Randal said, half laughing. "The colonel's had all the rock falls he can handle for one day."

"Is he okay? Why's he blindfolded? Can he hear me?"

"He'll be okay, he's just a little cyanotic. And blind, from being in the dark so long. The light hurts pretty bad but it's only temporary."

Nick crouched down and stroked Murray's cheek, the only exposed bit of skin that wasn't too torn and raw touch.

"Murray, can you hear me?" he whispered. "Say something so I know you're okay."

Very slowly, one long, dirty, blood smeared hand came up and pushed the mask away.

"Tell these guys to stop calling me Colonel."

"Babe, I think you've earned all the respect they want to show you and more." He took the mask and covered Murray's face before he could speak again. If that was the kind of thing he wanted to say, it could wait. But Murray had a question.

"Baba?" he whispered, muffled by the mask but still audible.

"Melba's fine. They took her to the hospital already, but she's fine. You'll see her when you get there."

"And Cody?"

"He's fine, too. Sprained his ankle, that's all." Nick realized he was holding Murray's hand and didn't let go. A bunch of these guys had already seen them kiss, anyway. "Everybody's okay now."

Murray nodded faintly and let himself go. He was tired and the air was so good. Maybe later he'd get some water and that would be good, too. The next thing he was aware of was being lifted onto a stretcher and the gentle swaying motion of being carried. He was embarrassed that he hadn't been able to walk out on his own like the other men, but his hurt body simply refused to go any farther. _Typical_, he thought. _That's me, always falling down on the job_. He was sure Nick could have done better.

He heard his mother and Cody, both calling his name as he was carried past them, and was more ashamed than ever. _Poor Mama, having to think I'm hurt when I'm really just a wimp. If Melba hadn't been in there for four days she probably could have walked out. _

Murray kept his eyes closed when the blindfold was removed. The light was a great smear of yellow and orange pain, worse than his back or his scalp or the sting when they started an IV. Someone pried his eyelids up and shined a penlight in them, making the tears flow faster. Then the bandana was laid across them again, blocking out the worst of the sun, but letting a little in to help him adapt.

"Your eyes are okay, Colonel," the doctor said. "Just take a little time to get used to things again. We'll get you to the hospital and clean you up, see how bad these cuts are."

"They're fine," Murray said through the mask.

"Probably. But you're a hero so we got to be careful."

Murray snorted but said nothing. Arguing would only make them insist.

***

Later, Murray would think that either the hospital was very close or he slept most of the way. They arrived before he knew it and he kept his eyes closed against the harsh fluorescents in the emergency room. He wondered where Melba was and if her eyes hurt as much as his did. She'd been underground a lot longer but she was also tougher. He was sure of it.

Gentle hands undressed him and washed his wounds, which meant most of his body. He hadn't realized how many places were hurt until people began touching them. He was given some morphine and dozed a little while the worst of his wounds were sutured. The only time he spoke was to ask about Melba and it was Nick who answered. Everyone else seemed to be gone by then.

"She's fine, Murray. She's getting cleaned up, too, and then you can see her."

"You're here," he sighed, torn between pleasure and worry. "Where's Mama? Who's with her?"

"Cody's with her and Melba."

"Oh. Good. That's good." He noticed then that the oxygen mask was gone, replaced by nasal prongs that were also irritating, but less so. "I'm okay, Nick," he added, thinking his friend might be worried.

"I know, babe. But I'm gonna stay here anyway."

"Good. Can you uncover my eyes? I want to try and see."

A nurse had laid a towel over his eyes and Nick took it away. Murray blinked owlishly, tears pouring down his cheeks.

"Looks painful."

"It is. Where are my glasses?"

"Right here." Nick put them on him and Murray tried to sit up.

"Let me help you." He raised the head of the bed and slipped his arm around Murray's neck to sit him up the rest of the way. "Is that better?"

"Yeah. I want to see Melba. You said she was all right."

"She is. She's weak from dehydration and lack of food but she's not beat up as bad as you are. What happened down there, sweetheart?"

"Nothing. Well, when the tunnel collapsed a lot of shit fell on us. That's where I got that bruise on my back."

"Murray, that's not a bruise. It's an eight inch gash that goes almost to the bone. You lost so much blood, you're getting a transfusion right now."

"Oh. It didn't hurt that much."

"You must have been really jacked up on adrenaline. Your hands and knees are a mess, too. And your elbows. About all you've got that's not torn up are your feet."

"That's all?"

"Well, not quite. But you probably won't be up to using the good stuff for a while. And probably not your feet, either."

"Great. Just when I wonder if I could be any more useless." He pulled away from Nick and lay back again.

"Useless? Murray, you saved her life."

"No, I didn't. I didn't do anything. I was just one more person to rescue."

"That's not true. She never would have survived if you hadn't gotten in there with the oxygen tank. And without your radio communication she never would have been able to tell them about the second shaft. Murray, you did _everything_. She'd be dead right now without you."

"Someone else would have done it. Someone who could have dug them out after the first collapse."

"I think if there was a guy like that around, he'd have already been in there. And besides, she wanted you. Face it, Murray. You were the man for the job this time."

"Hard to believe," he sighed, closing his eyes. "When can I see her?"

"They're gonna come tell you. Just rest a while, okay?"

"Nick, are you hiding something? Is Melba hurt worse than you're telling me?"

"No. I promise you, she's fine. If they're keeping you apart, it's because you're such a mess, it might scare her."

"She's the one who was trapped underground for three days. Or was it four?"

"Closer to four, but she didn't crawl through two rock tunnels or go without air, and she doesn't look like the ceiling fell on her. Her arm's broken, but it doesn't look as bad as your face."

"Thanks."

"I didn't mean that in a bad way. Murray, she's fine, but you almost died. You have no idea how close you came to trading your life for hers down there."

"I'm her big brother," he whispered and was baffled when Nick began to cry.

***

Nick was holding Murray's hand and talking quietly about nothing in particular when the rest of the family came in. Melba was in a wheelchair, dressed in a hospital gown and robe. Her left arm was in a cast and sling, and an IV bag hung over her head. But it was clear fluid, Murray noted with relief. Not a blood transfusion like his. Marta pushed the chair, using it to steady herself, and Cody followed, moving easily on his crutches. Murray's nerves unwound a notch and he managed to smile.

"Baba, are you okay?"

"Oh, Scooter, I'm fine," she laughed. "My arm doesn't even hurt, now that it's in a cast. But you look terrible. I had no idea—" Suddenly she was blinking back tears and Nick moved out of the way so she could get closer to her brother.

"I'm okay, Baba. My back hurts a little but I'm fine."

"I bet it does. Did he tell you what he did, Nick?"

"Are you kidding? He thinks he made things worse."

"Oh, Scooter," she said again. "Isn't that like you? When the ceiling came down on us, Murray covered me with his body. That's why he got hurt and I didn't. Something hit him so hard it rattled my ribs and he just got up again without saying a word. He was so brave."

"Don't be silly," Murray said, smiling indulgently at her. "If I hadn't disturbed those beams, it never would have happened."

"And I never would have gotten the radio or the air tank or the water. I wasn't going to last much longer without water, Scooter."

"Baba, I don't want to talk about it."

"But you're a hero."

"Yeah, _I'm_ a hero. That's what's awful. When things are so bad that _I'm_ your last best hope—Baba, if that were true, then—I can't even think about it."

Melba got up and sat on the bed, hugging him carefully with her good arm as Cody moved her IV bag to Murray's stand. So far as she could tell, nearly every part of him was scratched or bruised, from the arms that held her to the cheek she kissed.

"You've been the hero lots of times, Scooter. Cory's always sending me clippings about the cool things you do, tracking down killers and battling it out with hackers."

"Sure, with a computer. I shouldn't have to work in mines. You deserved better, Baba. You deserved someone who knew what he was doing and could get you out."

"But that's not what I _needed_, silly. I needed you. Someone who would give me all of the water and most of the air. Someone who loved me enough to make me know I was going to get out alive."

"Oh, Baba. Any man would trade his life for yours after he knew you for five minutes."

"I know that no one's interested in an old lady's opinion," Marta interrupted, "but I'm just as glad to have both my children alive and well. Or at least on the way to well. Murray, darling, you look terrible."

"That's what people keep telling me. But I'm fine, Mama, honest." He followed her eyes to the bag of plasma overhead and smiled sheepishly. "It's really not that bad. Guys, I wasn't even down there that long, was I?"

"About twelve hours. It's the middle of the night now," Cody said and Nick kicked him.

"It is? Gosh, you guys should all be in bed. Baba, don't you have a room?"

"Not yet. They're getting us one together but it's not ready. I only have to stay overnight, but I guess you're in for a couple of days at least."

"Why?"

"Murray, stop being dense," Cody sighed. "You're not in pain because they filled you full of local anesthetics. When those little shots wear off, you're going to be in hell."

"But I'm not really hurt, am I? I don't have any broken bones or internal bleeding, right?"

"No, just a lot of open wounds. That ground's all shale and sh—stuff, and it cuts you to pieces."

"My poor Scooter," Melba said sadly, kissing him again as their mother went around to the other side of the bed.

Marta picked up his hand and touched his cheek softly, tracing the ridge of the bone between his glasses and the oxygen tube that bisected his face. "I always knew you were brave."

"Bravery's never been something Murray lacked," Nick said quietly.

"That's right," Melba said. "What he did for me, it was the bravest thing I've ever seen. Scooter, I knew it when you stopped breathing from the tank. I wanted to make you, I didn't want to take your air, but you wouldn't answer and I couldn't…Scooter, I didn't want you to die for me."

"I didn't want to die, either, Baba. I just fell asleep. Mama, I'm sorry we scared you. If I could have gotten word to you—or did I? I seem to remember saying something…"

"You told me to tell her you were sorry," Nick said. "But I didn't. You didn't have anything to be sorry about."

"That's right, baby," Marta said, smiling down on him with tears in her eyes. "I was so proud of you. When Cody told me how determined you were, I just knew you'd make it. Just like when you pulled her out of the pond when she was six years old."

"I haven't heard that story," Cody said with real interest. "Have you, Nick?"

"No. What pond, Marta?"

"In the park back home. All the kids went fishing there in the summer and ice skating in the winter. One hot summer day they were over there playing and Melba started chasing a frog. She told me later she wanted to put it in Murray's bed so it served her right. Anyway, she chased it too close to the edge and fell right in before she knew it. She couldn't swim yet and Murray was just learning but he jumped in and pulled her out. My friend Carol Wharton was there with her kids and she told me it scared the life out of her, seeing little Murray trying to drag Melba up onto the bank. But by the time she got over there to help, he'd done it."

"I hardly remember that," Murray said, blushing prettily. Melba kissed him again and then turned to his friends.

"I remember. I thought I was going to drown. I must have swallowed half the pond and it tasted awful. I was thinking about that when I was in the mine, too," she went on, turning back to her brother, "hoping you were coming for me again. One of these days I'm going to stop getting into trouble, I promise."

"I don't mind rescuing you, Baba. Gives me a break from the old computer." He smiled like he meant it but she could see he was tired.

"We should let you sleep. You've had such a big day."

"Don't leave yet. I don't want to be alone."

"Then scoot over, Scooter."

He moved over as far as he could and Melba lay down beside him, her head on his shoulder. Nick fixed the blankets over them both and offered the wheelchair to Marta. He and Cody retreated to the far side of the cubicle, where there were a couple of uncomfortable chairs, and sat down close together.

"You know," Cody whispered, too low to be overheard, "that's the only person I could stand to see in bed with him right now. If she weren't here, I'd be there myself."

"You'd have to fight me for it."

Across the room, Murray and Melba were falling asleep to the softly lilting voice of their talented mother.

"_Zoon, zoon, cuddle and croon,  
Over the crinkling sea,  
The moon man casts with a silvery net,  
Fashioned from moonbeams three_."


End file.
